Private Pormont Who Framed Roger Rabbit

[Alphabet Chocolate]

Unnamed Town, Pormont
14:32 | Town Hall

Current Suspects:
➸ @Pete Simpson
➸ @Darko Ljubicic
➸ @Corsair
➸ @Brutus Dahlgren
➸ @Chimney
➸ @Ilya
➸ @Sylpha Astarte
➸ @Alphabet Chocolate

The string of her monocle swung as Alpha walked down the aisle, face grim and shoulders heavyset. She climbed up the small stairs leading to the central pulpit. In her left hand held a cage filled with hay, the door fluttering open and close with every step she made until it wavered at her sudden stop, the distinct crrrk resounding throughout the hall. She stood, back turned to assembly. Suddenly, she jerked her head, and spun around, her right arm grasping at the stand while she slammed the cage down on the floor.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" she bellowed. "You've all been gathered here today for one reason and one reason only." Alpha scanned the crowd, eyes flickering past. They were all new faces, hairs from sea blue to snow white, though the one with the top hat gave her pause. Who wears a top hat?! Well, it certainly is suspicious. She'd chalk it down for later.

"And it's because..." she took a deep breath. The moment of truth. With a flourish, she reached out her arm to the space above the cage and waved her arm back and forth. "One of you guys freaking murdered a rabbit! Yeah, you're all suspects. You know why? Cause someone here killed Roger the Rabbit. He had a future. The townspeople said he worked as a therapy rabbit for the sick. Kept everyone's spirits up during bad harvests! He was the father who one-hundred and thirty-six children...who are all orphans now!" she gritted her teeth.

"Roger disappeared from the cage at 8:12. One of his caretakers assumed he was taken for his daily wash, which happens at about 8:30 daily. Between that time and now, Roger was found dead, murder weapon unknown, by an also unknown assass---assaa---asssir---assailant!" she stuttered. Alpha licked her lips, her eyes darting around the room. "Our only clue so far is that only a sick, twisted, demented person could do something like this! Does anyone have any ideas on how to catch this criminal?!"

 

[Corsair]

Corsair tapped her lip, looking around at the other suspects. She loved watching criminal proceedings on TV. The calculated steps that it took to achieve an outcome tickled something in her programmer's brain. She'd been pulled in to this mess out of nowhere, just another player to point fingers at. Well, she knew she didn't do it, so the fastest way to get out of this debacle was to solve the murder.

"Quite right," she said, nodding as the 'detective' gave her impassioned speech. She stood, a lone pillar in the sea of faces. "My name is Corsair, and while I'm by no means an officer of the law, I do have some idea on where to start."

"We don't have a motive or a weapon, only a profile. But if we know that the killer is a sick, twisted, demented person, than we have only to establish who is a calm, logical, and trustworthy person. That should eliminate some of us as suspects, at the very least." Corsair said. As she talked her gaze roamed the room, inspecting the faces present (even the detective).

"Let's start with introductions. I live in Honeyhome and I have never killed an animal. I'm a vegetarian in the real world, and in game I haven't even killed wolves for a quest. I'm a healer by trade, and have absolutely no reason to kill Roger. " As she talked, her pulled her magitechs out of her pockets and set them on her shoulders. Sam the frog and Fujitsu the spider looked out at the crowd, their presence a testament to Corsair's unassailable character.

 

[Sylpha Astarte]

Sylpha found it very natural that she was stuck in a town hall and considered a suspect of murdering a rabbit. As someone who was no stranger to making rabbit pies and stews, it was natural for the number of rabbits who died in her hands to be rather high. After some basic introductions to the case, a lady named Corsair made her introduction as someone who left meat out of her diet. Sylpha, on the other hand, was not such a person. Once Corsair was done, Sylpha would make her own introduction.

"I'm Sylpha, and I am a baker and chef. I have taken the lives of many a rabbit in my lifetime as means of sustenance and I pride myself on having enough experience doing so to be able to extract the meat from a rabbit carcass properly to minimize waste as well as to respect the life it's lived."

Glancing towards the cage, she continued:
"I assure you that I do not leave behind mangled dead rabbits, because that would mean insufficient good meat to make dishes with. Also, the kitchen is a place with a decent number of people going in and out with eyes everywhere. No housewife would not know that I would be cooking in there from 8 to 10 with the doors open. I am usually not alone during those times and today was no different. I may not have been able to recognize Roger the Rabbit when he was alive, but if he was as important as the townspeople claim, then anyone who was with me in the kitchen should have."

Renting a kitchen to bake with their stone oven was already second nature to Sylpha who had done it many times. Disregarding money, she hadn't even decided on a place to set up a kitchen to call her own.

"Finally, and this is the most important part, rabbit meat was not served as part of today's menu so far."

 

[Chrys]

A rabbit? Pete couldn't believe what he was hearing. All this, for a dead rabbit? He wasn't even sure that it was a murder. For all they knew, the rabbit was just old and it was its time. Or something like that. Rabbits aren't even that cool, bro. They're much tastier than cool. Can't this tiny girl just buy herself a new one?

Pete wanted to raise his hand, just to argue that this was a waste of time. Better things were waiting for them out there in this world, but here they were, trapped by some silly thing. Just like that Lions thing. He heaved a sigh instead when someone else spoke first, though he couldn't help but listen intently. The person calling themselves @Corsair seemed direct to the point and less silly. Maybe this will be finished in no time. Then I can return to my adventuring life as a hobo.

"Well, uhm, I'm just a vagabond myself, traveling through the world like it's my oyster," he beamed at that, proud that he was able to remember something that in his head felt deep and totally necessary and relevant. But he soon realized, like Corsair, he had to argue against being the killer, state things that would prove he wasn't who they were all after. Well, most of them. Pete didn't really care. He'd much rather just have the rabbit for dinner.

"I'm also not an animal killer. In fact, I am an animal lover." Wait, no, that sounds... Explain! "What I mean to say is, I love animals so much, I wouldn't kill them! I wouldn't even dare touch them, not with my filthy, human hands!" Nice save, bruv. "Like, who knows where they have been, right?" You should, you soggy oatmeal. "Except me, of course My hands have been with me, all this time, and they're definitely not involved in a crime such as this."

That chef sounds very suspicious, though. Right now, with the people who have been stating their case, which wasn't a lot because it was just Pete and Corsair, she had the most to gain from murdering the rabbit. She had a point about not leaving the meat, though. Would be very stupid. Unless that's her plan all along! Aha! I have solved the case! I have- Wait, what time is it? Eh, it's probably fine. I probably didn't forget to turn off the stove at my place. No chance I could explode. Ha. Ha. Ha.

 

[Darko Ljubicic]

Darko had only stayed in this town for a day so that he could continue his journey to Stokbon. It had not even been 4 hours. But he had been summoned here for the sole reason of just a dead rabbit. The mascot of the town, but, still. A. Dead. Singular. Rabbit. He was clearly livid, but he definitely hid it behind his calm composure. When he was then summoned for some sorts of a cross-examination, he then started:

"Before anything else, I would like you to know my trade before anything. I am also a chef, and I currently own a place called 'Ivàn's Curry House', which also served, among all things, rabbit meat. Back in the world where I came from, I have also been cooking for a long time, and perhaps I had been preparing and cooking rabbit meat in much greater quantities in my restaurants than this housewife had been all her life, maybe in the thousands, that perhaps animal rights advocates had been rallying in front of any one of my establishments monthly."

He then shot a glance at the vegetarian in the room before he continued on facing his apparent audience.

"I also inherently dislike the idea of a singular rabbit existing as a mascot, as I believe that it just cheapens the place. You can argue all you want, but this is my belief and I dare think no one can sway me from this. Mere threats will never work on me, and I will reciprocate unjustified and ill-justified violence with violence, and attempted murder with murder."

He then glanced at the dead rabbit before continuing on.

"But I dare believe that this kind of murder is not something one should expect from me, not even if I dislike the notion of a rabbit existing as a mascot and it also attacked me. If I am really the murderer of this rabbit, it will never show up here in the first place. If ever, only drops of blood will appear, as I would have skinned it and cooked its body however I wanted to. In my opinion, it is definitely wasteful of a person to kill a rabbit and leave it there."

 

[Brutus Dahlgren]

Man, what had he gotten himself into?

Corsair had dragged him here so they could "See more of the World" and "Make more of a name for themselves" instead they'd wound up in a murder mystery. One in which Brutus might be the very suspect of. You see, he was a big man who wore big boots and had a hard time seeing what was going on beneath his knees most days. He'd just been walking when suddenly something darted out from nowhere and CRUNCH, he's smashed the poor thing to death under his boot.

Alexa, play Despacito.

So when they'd said that the town mascot, a rabbit, had been murdered he'd begun to sweat bullets. That was, until the revealed the body and it was a completely different rabbit.

Thank god.

As everyone began to explain their alibi, he nodded along with each word. There was an awful lot of chefs here it would seem, and Corsair was Vegan (Aside from the occasional charcoal formerly known as bacon), he'd been with her the whole time. She was his shadow, he'd have noticed if she was gone.

"I can't attest to whether or not I have any qualms with rabbit killing, but I can put forth that I have an Alibi. You could ask Corsair and she would tell you that I was with her the entire time, and she with me, and if you need to vouch for either of us you can ask Sam." He motioned to her frog. "He spent the entire day with us as well." He paused for a moment. "The names Brutus, by the by."

 

[Ilya]

A murder mystery over a rabbit... Of course Ilya would be among the suspects list. She often times fought things and killed them sooner than she could properly think. Even she, entered a rage sometimes where she would be unable to control herself, and then have no recollection of anything that had occurred during the rage.

Yet Ilya wanted to protest, and exclaim that she was in fact innocent. Though almost everyone seemed to have an alibi and Ilya had none, it was very easy to fake an alibi. "I could very well have been the killer of this poor rabbit soul, I fight too much, think too little. BUT ALAS!" Ilya puffed her chest and held out one finger in the air, her tail swaying rapidly from side to side.

"I refuse to kill things that I think are cute, and rabbits are adorable! I have never eaten one, at least I don't think I have... And I would never kill one purposefully! Cute things are just-" Ilya then returned her hand to her chest, squealing a bit.

"They're just so fluffy and cute!" Ilya grinned, "I didn't do it, i'm sure of it." Ilya stopped speaking, her claim hanging in the air as she thought the rest of what she wanted to say. At least... I don't think I did it... Ilya wouldn't betray her thoughts, she couldn't!

Who knew what would happen if it turned out that she did in fact kill the rabbit?

 

[Alphabet Chocolate]

Alpha blinked as everyone gave their testimonies. It felt as if weeks had passed since she had last spoken. Shaking her head, Alpha glanced around the room, jotting down what she knew:

@Corsair - Lives in a beehive, acts as a healer. Her claim of living in the hive known as Honeyhome checks out with her claims of being a vegetarian. As far as people know, bees do not, in fact, eat people. They do, however, like jazz.

@Sylpha Astarte - Has developed a taste for rabbit flesh and is experienced in skinning innocent bunnies. A bonafide psychopath, if Alpha would say so herself. Claims no rabbit meat was served during dinner, eradicating her as a suspect.

@Pete Simpson - Owns pet oysters, which would correlate with his claims of being an animal lover...but isn't it suspicious that there are two animal lovers in this room?!

@Darko Ljubicic For some reason, Alpha felt like his appearance reminded her of some character she saw in a show once...Butler? Green Butler? Eh, whatever, it'll come to her sooner or later. Ivan's Curry House. Huh. It sounded familiar, but two restauranteurs? The coincidences keep on piling higher. Both he and Sylpha argued they were far more skilled than to leave a rabbit butchered like this, but...could this be a red herring? He certainly had the motive...

@Brutus Dahlgren Large, tall, and wearing gigantic boots, Alpha wouldn't be surprised if he had the strength to squish her, let alone Roger the Rabbit. Alpha bit her lip nervously, resolving to stay a distance away from the man. The last thing she wanted was for him to accidentally slip and squish her into an Alphabet Chocolate pancake. Her offered an alibi, but could this crime be perpetrated by two suspects: both the man strangely named "Brutus, by the by" and Corsair?!

@Ilya Another animal lover...ha! But, out of everyone here, she seemed to most innocent and her words resonated with Alphabet immensely. Perhaps she could be the only one she could trust in this insidious room of evil.

"Ahem!" Alpha cleared her throat, addressing the room with a swoop of her hand. "So we have two chefs, a bee, two animal lovers, and that guy!" she pointed at Brutus, by the by. "We haven't ruled out any accomplices. Several of us have alibis. But!" Alpha flicked her tongue over the top of her teeth, gaze set on the rabbit-hater-who-didn't-introduce-himself. "You! How suspicious that you didn't introduce your name...perhaps, are you afraid? Do you have a criminal record? Something to hide?!"

She turned and jabbed her thumb at Corsair's general direction. "She gave a good idea of our killer: a sick, twisted, demented person. Now, look amongst yourself, look deep inside, and think. Which of us here fits that profile? From where I'm standing, it looks like all of you. Speak now and deliberate for we will vote on who to execute soon after!"

And, just as quick as she had said that, she tossed Ilya a smile. "Except you! There's no way she's the killer, she just radiates innocence!"

Note

Discuss amongst yourselves who is possibly the killer. Make wrong right accusations, introduce drama, bloodshed, whatever! Soon, there will be a vote to execute apprehend the criminal.

 

[Corsair]

Corsair went through the list of suspects, crossing them off mentally, narrowing down the list from a roomful to a few. @Sylpha Astarte and @Darko Ljubicic , the pair of chefs, seemed honest and harmless enough in their testimonies. There was certainly no motive for them. Brutus was her friend, and even if he had somehow accidentally killed creatures on their travels together she just couldn't blame him.

"Alpha? Permission to treat the witnesses as hostile?" she asked @Alphabet Chocolate, not waiting for an answer before she prowled towards the accused.

@Pete Simpson seemed awkward, which in a room like this was akin to a death sentence. Corsair narrowed in on him. "You there, vagabond. Your words are careless and suspicious, and the only thing you assured us of is that you killed the rabbit with a weapon instead of your bare hands. You are suspect number one."

She turned to @Ilya, another figure without real backing to her claims. "You say you love rabbits in general, but not this one in particular? What exactly is it that made you dislike Roger so strongly that you killed him? Did he not fit the archetypal 'fluffy' profile? Not to mention your spurious claims of previous rabbit consumption. If you can't be sure of your own past, then how can we? You are most certainly suspect number two."

 

[Brutus Dahlgren]

Brutus crossed his arms as Corsair gave the group the third degree, impressed with her bad cop routine. He would wait till she was done and then walk up, waggling an eyebrow and approaching @Chrys and resting an arm on his shoulder all buddy buddy. "Look man, do you and your hands have an alibi?" he would look the man in the eyes and squint for a moment. "Because for all I know, you and those hands could have been in cahoots the whole time! Conspiring to murder a rabbit in cold blood and then frame some poor innocent bystander." With that out of the way, he ceased his leaning on the man and walked over to tower over @Ilya .

"You're sure of it Ily?" He would ask incredulously. "That sounds like there's reason for doubt. How do we know you didn't maybe come under the effect of some sort of spell or compulsion that made you do it? What if you did it, then bumped your head and forgot you did? Maybe when you logged out of the game there was an error and your memories from that play session weren't properly recorded eh? What about that?"

 

[Ilya]

☀𓆱𓃬

​

lion's pride...

Ilya had come prepared, her makeshift notepad in her hand as she began to take notes... She had a list of every suspect, but what was the murder weapon... Ilya was removed from her thoughts as Corsair and Brutus began to gang up on her. "I swear I didn't kill Mr. Roger! I've never even seen the guy!" She held up her hands in defense, "Bru, how would the game glitch out and remove all of my memories. That sounds absurd! How about we start question the suspects after we find out what killed this thing!"

Ilya puffed her chest and burst past everyone and walked right up to Alpha. "Alright Alpha, let's figure out what killed this cutie. Magic, weapons? What do we got!" She peered at the cage that the body of the rabbit was in. Waiting on Alpha to also inspect and see if it was magic or weapons. "Can anyone here see magic residuals, or sense them with a skill? Perhaps we can cross-verify what kind of weapon or magic killed this thing. I don't know if we can see types of magic through investigation mode... But we should be able to tell what kind of killing blow it had?" Ilya used her fists, not magic, not weapons... If they were able to prove that the rabbit was killed via a sharp weapon or magic, Ilya would be able to defend her innocence.

@Alphabet Chocolate @Corsair @Sylpha Astarte @Chrys @Darko Ljubicic @Brutus Dahlgren

 

[Darko Ljubicic]

Darko turned towards @Alphabet Chocolate, still brimming with confidence after his speech of innocence. "Ah, I forgot, I haven't introduced myself to you, and all others here. I will rectify that in a minute." He then clapped his hands loudly to draw all their attention towards him again. "It might have been rude not to introduce myself to you, after you had done so earlier. My name is Darko Ljubicic. For the recorder who's recording the minutes of this proceeding, that is D-A-R-K-O-space-L-J-U-B-I-C-I-C. If any of you Travelers will dare to mock my name, it is because you do not know the nuances of Balkan naming, and therefore, do not have a sense of culture whatsoever. Also, I do not have a record to my name back in my world, sure there might be accusations, but I have already been acquitted in all of those. Although what I said will not matter today."

He then addressed each and every one of the suspects in order, but saying everything with a sonorous and clear voice so that everyone would hear. "I am sure that everyone will have an alibi, but how sure are we if anyone of us are simply lying? For example I, as well as the other cook over there," He then glanced at @Sylpha Astarte. "For all we know we all have standards, but what if we just threw our standards away so that we can avenge ourselves as what we might perceive to be an evil rabbit that, for example, might have stolen and ate our vegetables that we might have bought in advance for our cooking? If ever, I have also stated whatever might bring down my alibi. Yes I do hate living animal mascots, for they are only ephemeral and will only last for a short while, and what will you do after that? Hail a new rabbit as your mascot? And, also if ever I am really the one who killed the rabbit, where are your evidence?"

He then turned towards @Chrys, and with a serious grin on his face so as to try to goad the man to attack him, he then said, "This my friends, is the most basic alibi that murderers always turn to. Claim that their hands had always been with him and he could do no harm. But what if he was not himself one time? Maybe he was really angry that he lost himself, or was under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Trust me, it's a common occurrence, so why try to augment your charge to murder when it might actually be homicide?"

He then turned towards the duo of @Corsair and @Brutus Dahlgren, and then said, "We can't also rule out while there might be a killer, there might be also an accomplice, or at least someone that will create more alibis so that the suspect that they wanted to shelter might avoid the rule of law. Reminds me a lot about Bonnie and Clyde. But man, what a very clumsy-looking Clyde we have here. Are you sure that you did not tip over the cage while you are not looking, causing the death of the rabbit? And you! You that claim to be a vegetarian and would not dare to eat meat. Are you sure you are not one of those nutjobs from our world that claim to be protecting animals, but snatch others' pets from behind their noses and then kill them? And then after the deed, leave a basket of fruits as an 'apology' for nabbing that pet? How can we be so sure that you might have tried the same deed to the rabbit?"

Finally, he then turned towards Alphabet Chocolate and @Ilya. "Finally we have these two, one who claims that the other might be innocent because the latter said that she liked animals. For sure, the former might have felt the same way too, if her intentions were to be believed. But sometimes this 'love' might not become the one we are accustomed to, and might have evolved into a condition that we might call 'possessiveness'. This is but a trait that many a person might feel when they fell to the wrong end. They might claim to love this entity that was the rabbit, and was so enamored by it that they decided that no one else will have it but them and only them. In time it might develop into a situation where they might desire that the creature that they loved be dead than be possessed by other people, in this case the town, and then kill it out of spite for the other party. Truly a tragedy, I might say." Darko then appeared as if he was weeping from his words as he then wiped his face with a handkerchief he produced from his pocket.

After the fake weeping, he then said, "But of course these are mere accusations, 'secondary sources' if you will if we are talking about history. What we need is the 'primary source', or evidence as you should say. It is indeed fortunate that the dead rabbit is here with us, so we then can start an autopsy. I will give my apologies to the town if what I said is sacrilegious to your traditions, but if we need to find the killer, this is the only way. But first, I will present to you what weapons I have, and what magic can I use." He then drew a gun from his holster, but it seemed that he was holding it on its muzzle. "This is a 16-shot revolver, that uses a .327 caliber ammunition that in load-out resembles the capabilities of a .327 Federal Magnum. You can check this using a ballistic gel if you want to. Also, I am highly proficient in Dark Magic and also dabbles in Astramancy; while also having capabilities to snipe people and creatures with my gun or magic from miles away. That is all I have."

 

[Chrys]

Spoiler: OBJECTION

Spoiler: Theme

Spoiler: Chrys' Suspects: In Order of Sus

➸ @Darko Ljubicic. Dark magic? They use rabbit feet for that, right?
➸ @Sylpha Astarte. Ingredients are pricey these days. Hmm.
➸ @Ilya. Probably killed the rabbit by accident. With a tight hug or something.
➸ @Alphabet Chocolate. Never trust someone with a monocle, especially someone that adorable.
➸ @Chimney. Needs more rabbit in his hat? It's always the quiet ones...
➸ @Corsair. Vegans are suspicious but why wouldn't she be proud of this kill for her brand?
➸ @Brutus Dahlgren. Would've punted the rabbit with the cage if he wanted to kill it.​

▙ ✹ ▜ ▛ ❂ ▟ ▙ ✹ ▜

There is an impostor...Among Us.

He turned to Corsair with a yawn. "How could someone who assures but with no CLEAR MOTIVE be your PRIMARY suspect when you have a chef who admitted to taking the lives of many a rabbit in her lifetime as means of sustenance (Sylpha Astarte), another chef who has admitted to serving rabbit meat (Darko Ljubicic) and is highly proficient in sinister Dark Magic, and someone who did say they could have been the killer, with their ONLY defense a biased observation of the victim bordering on obsession (Ilya)?"

He gave Sylpha a shrug, looking her over. "Just because rabbit meat was not served tonight does not mean it would not be served tomorrow."

Turning back to Corsair, he stole a glimpse of Darko and then the big man in the room. "A healer by trade, outshone by a therapy rabbit for the sick? Assuming motive is easy, so having clearer ones, not just assumptions and accusations, make for a better starting point. You yourself stated that you are...by no means an officer of the law. Anyone who practices law would dissuade you from simply establishing calmness and logic as enough evidence to claim innocence, and even trustworthiness in the eyes of an amateur should not secure the same. A practiced killer with greater experience in murder than all of us combined in the judiciary would be able to feign such without much effort."

"Besides, the rabbit disappeared from the cage at 8:12, its daily wash at about 8:30 daily? I did not arrive in town until much later. I have a witness, a farm owner who is the reason for my arrival." He then took the massive greatsword from his back and placed it on the floor, the damned thing making too much noise. He shifted his gaze towards Darko, highly suspicious of his Dark Magic and the way he admitted to be able to take a life from far away. "And this is my weapon. No trace of blood. Very unwieldly. There would be dents all over this place if I was the murderer, witness accounts would state that early on, and the rabbit's cage in smithereens. Subtlety is a skill that has always escaped people like me."

At that last part, he turned to Brutus again, stealing a glimpse of his massive hands, before switching his attention back to Corsair. "That makes you, your muscular friend over there (Brutus Dahlgren)—purely because you both vouch for each other—and myself the only ones with actual alibi that stem from outside witnesses and not just personal statements from the very suspects themselves. Everyone else has spoken for themselves, could have lied for themselves."

He then turned to Alphabet Chocolate with a knowing smile. "What about you? What is your alibi? While we do appreciate the facts that you have shared with us today, it seems that you may have been the first on the scene, which means that none of us can vouch for your presence between the time of the murder and this time now, and you also have in your possession the victim's home. Have you not yet, as the young lady has aptly suggested, verified the remnants of magic in that cage, if any?"

It was fun while it lasted, but if this was truly a serious matter, then the actual lawyer in the room could not ignore the signs being ignored. Motive is always king, not unverified statements from the suspicious. Many a cases have been wasted, innocent men shackled and chain, despite lacking true motive equal to the degree of crime committed just because an artist, an actor, a speaker, knew his audience. Shame what they only had were circumstantial evidence and profiling.

Finally, he stared at Chimney, the one the girl with the monocle singled out for not making their introduction. Sus.