Private Providence Which Way is West?

[Juniper Lockton]

Finally, after over a week of being in the starting area and Stokbon, she decided to go and test the near waters a little bit. A little traveling shouldn't be too hard, right? Just a little. But the little traveling she did was made much harder by the fact that she picked one of the hardest places in the area to traverse. Providence was beautiful from what she'd seen of the wilderness so far, but she was trying and failing to get to Stonepikes. Somehow, even with signs and other landmarks to help her get there, she still couldn't seem to do it.

Maybe it didn't help that she was chronically second-guessing herself, unable to commit to a potentially wrong decision when it made a big difference like this. Still, it wasn't clear to her that wasting time was also a bad decision when the sun threatened to set and leave her in a dark, uncertain night in unfamiliar territory.

Fortunately, she found another traveler as she spent her time fussing over which way to go at the fork and fidgeting with the hem of her dress. She'd finally gotten out of plain robes and into something more comfortable and fitting for her new form. She'd nearly cried when she put it on, then felt silly, then felt an intense need to spin, then felt silly again after spinning.

But if feeling a little silly was what it took to feel this good, so be it.

"Excuse me, miss? I'm looking to get to Stonepikes, do you happen to know the way?"

 

[Alice]

Memento

Vivere

Standing at a crossroads, Alice looked down the left path. Then the right. Which way was it that would take her to her destination? Unfortunately, no one in the town over had deigned to give her any better direction than to point vaguely and say 'that way'. Yes, but how far that way? Were there notable landmarks to guide travelers? Were there any requirements for entry, such as a passport, or papers of travel? Most just donned a more and more confused face as Alice's questions went on, perfectly reasonable as they were.

It was as Alice was attempting to ascertain the correct path to proceed down that she heard a voice call to her from behind.

"Excuse me, miss? I'm looking to get to Stonepikes, do you happen to know the way?"

Turning and bowing slightly, Alice donned her public face, just as she'd been taught. "My apologies ma'am, I am afraid I do not. Although, I was told it is somewhere 'that way,'" the girl responded in a melodic, sweet toned voice, pointing exactly between the two forks in the road as she recalled her given directions, verbatim. "I believe I was also told that I would recognize it by the 'spear-like stone towers coming out of the mountain.' I have yet to see any such towers on these mountains."

@Juniper Lockton

 

[Juniper Lockton]

Ah, so she was lost, too. Juniper sighed and looked frustrated, rubbing her temples quickly before smiling as she seemed to remember manners,

"Well, so long as we're lost together, my name is Juniper!" She stuck out her hand for a handshake cordially, still getting used to more feminine body language and mannerisms, trying as hard as she was to put them on, "You can call me Juni if you like, though." Then she readdressed the situation,

"Well, if it's that way, we may as well just pick one, right?" She pondered, proposing the idea, "We could always go left as my grandfather used to say, 'stay left and you're sure to be right'." An old Irish saying, apparently, and one that had worked out for the most part.

It was nice to be lost with someone even if it was a stranger. Made her feel more safe, even if she wasn't sure how good this other person would be in a fight if they got ambushed or something. Helped that she was pretty, but Juniper was too shy to do anything about it.

"Or we could flip a coin. Whaddya think?"

 

[Alice]

Memento

Vivere

Seeing that her response had apparently caused frustration in the other girl, Alice was about to apologize when the girl instead introduced herself, rather cheerily, and then offered a hand for her to shake. A slight moment of confusion passed as Alice attempted to compute the sudden change of Juniper's state before she actually reciprocated the gesture. "A pleasure to meet you Juniper. My name is Alice," the blue-haired girl said, shaking the other's hand.

"I am not sure that leaving our path to chance to choosing based on old adages is a wise choice. However, I do not see another alternative," Alice replied to the girl, thinking for a brief moment before deciding. "Perhaps we should take the leftwards path. I am curious to see if there is any truth as to your grandfather's saying."

"Was your grandfather a wise man?" Alice would ask as they started down the road. Alice had never met her extended family. Neither of her parents really spoke of them, not even her mother after her father's death. Presumably she had had grandparents at some point or another, but by now, she expected them to have died. Mother had never made any indication that they would visit, and no one had been at her father's funeral except co-workers, herself, and her mother. "Did you know him well?"

@Juniper Lockton

 

[Juniper Lockton]

"He was but he was also a very lucky man. I saw that man win 5 different baked goods at a fair one time where they were raffling them off by the spin of a wheel. All you had to do was put a quarter down on a number from 1-100. I think he only played like twelve times or so? 5 cakes for 3 bucks ain't bad, gotta say." Slipping a little too close to Justin, she cleared her throat before continuing, "I lived with my grandparents basically for a while because my parents were so busy, so yea I knew them both really well. I think I got some of his luck but I guess we'll see eventually if we picked the right path, huh?" She smiled a little, seemingly not all that bothered by being lost if she got to at least meet someone interesting.

The way the other woman talked was almost analytical, reminiscent of a robot or something. Juniper found that endearing, if she was being honest, and so found herself already liking her traveling companion. That said, she didn't want to keep the conversation about herself, so she offered back, "What about you? You know your grandparents well?" Now that she said it it seemed a little strange for a first question, but not a bad one at least.

@Alice

 

[Alice]

Memento

Vivere

"That is certainly not the most efficient way to acquire five baked goods, the odds were most certainly not in his favor," Alice commented, "although I must admit, three dollars is a very good price, unlikely as it may have been. And yes, I suppose we will see. "

The two walked along in silence for a few moments before Juniper spoke up again, drawing Alice's attention with a question. "I'm afraid I did not," she responded. "I was rather occupied with classes and extracurricular activities from a young age. I was not provided the opportunity to ever meet them, nor did either of my parents ever mention to them. I have surmised that they passed away either before I was born, or soon thereafter." Despite the inherent sadness in not ever having met her grandparents, Alice's voice did not seem to waver, only becoming monotonous, almost as if she were simply writing out a report. "I have, however, seen images of grandfather. It was he that started my father's company, the one I am expected to take over now that he has passed."

@Juniper Lockton

 

[Juniper Lockton]

Juniper laughed at the remark about efficiency and nodded, "When you're right, you're right." Then, proceeding to listen to the story of how she didn't know her grandparents, she felt kind of sad and showed that via her tail that ceased its wagging.

A very rare occurrence.

Oh, she's the heir to a company? Juniper wondered which one. Maybe she knew of it, "Oh, what company does your father own? That's pretty cool but I'm sorry to hear you didn't get to spend time with your grandparents or anything really. They were really important to me but I suppose not everyone gets that chance. Makes me feel that much luckier, especially since my grandfather just finally passed away after a long battle with dementia." Another topic that kind of bummed her out, but she didn't need to mention much more beyond that.

It was better now that he was gone, anyway. She didn't want him to die, but him being in a flesh prison sounded much more hellish, especially since he was put in a home for his condition. A prison inside a prison.

@Alice

 

[Alice]

Memento

Vivere

"There is no need to apologize," Alice responded to the girl, the more pleasant tone returning to her voice now. "You are not at fault for their passing. And death is a natural part of life. There is no need to mourn those who have lived out their allotted time on Earth." The girl paused in speech for a moment, as they walked, as if pondering something. "I hope your grandfather has found peace," she said after a moment longer, deciding that that was an appropriate way to respond to someone's loss of a loved one.

Despite having lost her own father a year and a half ago, Alice still did not understand the grief that many exhibited upon the death of a loved one. Her mother had not shown any sadness in her husbands passing, and none who had been present at his funeral seemed to mourn him either. Why then, did so many grieve? It did not make logical sense. Even still, there were certain formalities that were to be followed when another expressed their grief, no matter how slight.

"As to what company my father owned," Alice said, not bothering to directly correct Juniper's incorrect assumption, "it is the Morikawa Company, an electronics manufacturer and distributer in Japan. I am not sure that circuitry and and programs are to be considered 'cool', however your feedback is appreciated."

@Juniper Lockton

 

[Juniper Lockton]

Continuing with the cold, analytical tone and thought process, the other woman still seemed kind enough. It wasn't like she was saying anything wrong or being mean about it.

"I believe he has, thank you. I was very relieved when he passed, because watching him suffer was...difficult, to say the least. I hope I never end up like that, but I might because its genetic." She shrugged, that was a while away. A problem for a Juniper that was much farther in the future.

"Oh, wow, really? Morikawa? I know of them, that must mean you're super rich. Explains a good bit, I suppose." Except for the part where she was lost. Why didn't she have like...an entourage? Wasn't that a rich girl thing? She sounded like a princess inheriting a kingdom, the way she talked about it.

"My parents are just extremists about politics and religion. I hate all their takes, to be honest. Because of that, partially, I'll have nothing as cool as a company to inherit from them."

@Alice

 

[Alice]

Memento

Vivere

"Genetics are not a guarantee," Alice stated, her best attempt at comforting another. "You should not worry about that which you cannot control. It is better to focus on the present, and plan for future security." At least, that was what Alice had always been taught. It was effort wasted to worry and stress over the things outside of her control. Most efficient was to expend her efforts on the things one could actually control. Their level of exercise, their nutrition, mental exercises, all of which were within Junipers control, that was where her effort would be most effective, if she truly worried for her future health. It was the only logical course.

"The lack of inheritance is simply an opportunity to build something of your own," the girl said with a hint of sorrow in her own voice. "You are free from the shackles of expectation. An unknown, in the eyes of the world. The lack of readily available resources will most certainly become an obstacle for any path you choose, however, you are able to claim every achievement as you own. I am afraid that I cannot make the same claims. I will always be standing upon the shoulders of those that came before me, and the world will always expect me to meet or surpass them in achievement.

My father, and his father before him both contributed greatly in the effort to create a successful company. I am fortunate in that my family's wealth does indeed sit well above the national poverty line," Alice reported, "however, I will never be able to claim the company's successes as my own, nor has my family's future has been secured. The company board does not approve of my inheriting ownership, nor have I completed my education, and therefore lack the credentials to effectively lead the business. There is much work to be done, and yet I find myself unable to do anything to solve these problems. Only wait patiently."

The more that Alice spoke about the company's problem with her inheriting her father's position, the more she found her throat constricting. Her lungs no longer filled to capacity, and her heart rate began to increase. "I apologize, are illnesses present in the game?" Alice asked suddenly.

@Juniper Lockton

 

[Juniper Lockton]

"Yes, I suppose that's true." There wasn't much else to say, but Juniper listened intently to the monologue portion, interested in what the girl had to say.

"Maybe so, but they did all that work so you would have a comfortable life, right? Isn't that why good parents work hard to provide? So their children can have a better life? Whatever is expected, that's on them. You seem really smart. I feel like I can have faith in you to do what feels best, ya know? When I don't know what to do, I go by my gut. Haven't regretted it yet. Maybe that's inherited too." She giggled, referring back to her grandfather.

Then, the sudden question about illness came up and Juni looked intensely worried, expression written with bold lines of concern.

"Oh, I don't know, actually. Are you okay? I have a potion if you need one?"

@Alice

 

[Alice]

Memento

Vivere

Alice shook her head at the offer of a potion, instead breathing deeply for a count of four, holding it, and then exhaling. It seemed to have some effect, enough to waylay any concerns of illness. "No, I believe I will be fine. Thank you," she said, before responding to Juniper's questions.

"It is a false assumption that my father's work was done to make my life comfortable," Alice admitted to the girl. "I cannot speak for my grandfather, but my father only desired to increase his material wealth for his own personal enjoyment, and to leave behind a legacy. I was not a factor beyond that." Did that fact trouble Alice? In truth, she wasn't entirely certain. And that uncertainty disturbed her. "Are your parents 'good parents?'" Alice asked, a curious tone coloring her voice. A genuine interest in this new person's home life, and whether or not they were happy. Juniper was actually the first girl her own age who had spoken to Alice as an equal. A question answered in return for a question asked. Was this how one became friends with another?

@Juniper Lockton

 

[Juniper Lockton]

Cordially shot down about the hope that her parents at least did that because they cared, she looked a little dejected, but Alice was nice enough about it and that didn't last long.

"I think they try to be. But they are not a good fit. We don't align in our views at all and they're quite extreme. If they knew more about me they'd likely be sending me to a gay conversion camp or something." She laughed darkly, hating that that was her truth.

Fuck it.

"I'm not umm...I'm not a girl IRL. I mean I guess I am, but I'm a trans girl. I think? It's confusing, but I'm a lot happier here than out of game because of it. So that's what I mean. So, ya know. Surprise!" She laughed again, sweating over the fact that she'd just let that go to a stranger when she hadn't said that at this point with any other strangers.

@Alice

 

[Alice]

Memento

Vivere

It was certainly unfortunate that, despite their best efforts, Juniper's parents were not quite capable of being 'good parents' for her either. A lack of compatibility...Alice had never considered that people could or could not be 'compatible' with each other, similar to how some computer hardware was incompatible with other pieces of hardware. The mention of a 'gay conversion camp', however, caused Alice to look at Juniper, her head cocked to the side, an approximation of confusion on her face.

"I...do not understand," Alice said, even after Juniper had explained. "What is a 'trans girl?'" The term was unfamiliar to the girl, alien in a way that it should have held meaning, but did not. "I was under the impression that the character screen's purpose was to survey the player population. It allows you to select a sex that is not your own? Is this incorrect?" All of a sudden Alice's world of rules and order seemed to be not so orderly.

@Juniper Lockton

 

[Juniper Lockton]

It was probably more shocking that instead of feeling hateful or prejudiced towards trans people, Alice didn't even know they existed. At least, not in the way that she had described. Oh well, there was no better time to learn!

"It means I'm transgender. I was born a boy, and in real life I'm still male. I haven't even started my transition..." She rubbed her arm and looked away, "Yea this game is one of the only places I can be myself, actually. At home my parents would never accept me. But here I can be myself and be happy." It was difficult to explain. Even she didn't always understand all of it.

"My parents being extremists means I don't even feel safe at home all of the time over it. If they find out they might disown me. Or worse." Who knew? They were crazy. Much more interested in their religion and political standing than their own child's wellbeing.

@Alice

 

[Alice]

Memento

Vivere

Alice's eyes stuck to the ground in front of her, her brows furrowing in the most emotive expression she had made so far. People could...change their sex? "It appears that there is much I do not know...I must conduct research..." she said quietly to herself before turning back towards Juniper.

"I've concluded that if your parents do not make you feel safe, they do not qualify as 'good parents'," she reported emphatically, a look of determination on her face. "If you feel unsafe, I have an excess of funds and ample space for your personal use. I believe this would greatly increase you sense of security." This increased sense of security should lead to long-term increase in mental health, if any of Alice's psychology classes were to be believed. Ideally, this increased mental health would include an increase in energy and focus, allowing Juniper to apply her efforts in such a manner as to improve her long-term security and independence.

@Juniper Lockton

 

[Juniper Lockton]

"Yep, searching it up might be better, yea. Bit of an...awkward conversation otherwise." She cleared her throat. The remark about having a place for her to use made her blink, "W-what? I mean, that's a wonderful offer, but we barely know each other. Would you really do that for a stranger?" Further, should she trust such an offer? Would it be worth the risk of escaping her parents?

"Don't get me wrong, I'd love to get out of where I live, but...not if it is a hassle for you or anything." It wasn't worth being happy if she would be a burden. It would only make her miserable again in the long run. But maybe this was what she needed to get out and get her life together. Her parents inhibited her at every turn, not even allowing her to choose what she wanted for college and therefore refusing to help cover the costs.

She didn't want loans, either. They were so expensive. But maybe they were inevitable.

@Alice

 

[Alice]

Memento

Vivere

"Do we still qualify as strangers?" Alice asked curiously, cocking her head to the side again. "I had presumed because we now knew intimate details about each other's real lives, we were considered friends. I apologize for my misunderstanding," the girl said, pausing her stride just long enough to bow towards Juniper.

"To answer your remaining questions, however," Alice said, after straightening up once more. "It would not be a 'hassle'. There is ample space for additional people in my home. Out of the six available bedrooms, only two are occupied. One still retains my father's old office, however, it is otherwise unoccupied," Alice said, as if making another report. "However, I must warn you," she then said in a grave tone. "My mother may ask you to do chores." Alice had heard from other students how much they hated doing chores. While Alice had personally never had an issue with completing any task assigned to her, she thought it wise to warn Juniper ahead of time, so that she could make an informed decision.

@Juniper Lockton

 

[Juniper Lockton]

Juniper immediately felt bad about calling them strangers still, "N-no! I'm sorry, I'm just...I'm kind of a mess, if you can't tell. I'm still learning where the line is between acquaintances and friends, and I hate to presume. It's awkward if I said we were friends and you didn't agree, you know? I'd happily be friends with you, you've been really nice and you're right, we've already shared a good bit with each other. Please accept my apology, and my offer of friendship." She felt that she'd recovered that okay, but the reaction would say it all.

"Truthfully, I would be happy to do chores even if I were just visiting. Perhaps we can set something up so that I can come visit first to make sure you would be willing to put up with me all the time?" Then, there was the topic of whether or not her parents would allow her to let a boy move in in the first place. Ah, complication after complication. Why couldn't she just have a good home life so that this wouldn't be an issue?

@Alice

 

[Alice]

"I would not say that you are 'a mess'," Alice replied honestly as the pair resumed their walk. "In fact, I would say that you are more put together than I," she admitted. "Therefore, there is no need for you to apologize. If you truly wish to become friends with me, I must warn you that I am rather inept when it comes to human interaction."

"My mother and I would be happy to entertain you at our residence on a day of your choosing," the girl said with a small smile. She'd never had a friend visit her at her home before. In fact, Alice began to realize, she'd never really had friends before. She didn't think that that fact bothered her at all though. She could not miss something that she'd never had, nor did she believe that jealousy or envy were worth the energy required to harbor them.

"Perhaps before we log out for the day, you'd allow me to exchange contact information with you, so that we might better coordinate."

@Juniper Lockton