Private Providence That time that the #EMO girl finally gets the sense knocked into her so she can start living her MAGICAL GIRL life of her dreams!

[Ilya]

☀𓆱𓃬

​

Adventurer's Guild (Platinum).

Spoiler: Mood.

Everything had felt numb for quite some time now, anytime her thoughts had even a glimpse of her friends or core memories, tears would be flooding Ilya's eyes. She hadn't been able to sleep for a few nights now, in the real world and in Terrasphere. She had let everyone down, and nothing could change that. She felt empty, raw, void of all energy and purpose. Life truly was a lonely thing, delicate and fragile. Friendships could be crumpled to dust at the drop of a hat, and in Ilya's eyes she had successfully destroyed all of her friendships. All by one singular moment, where instead of being strong... She had gotten cocky, making some pretty reckless moves. It would make complete sense to her if all of her friends were disappointed in her, or didn't want to be around.

After all, she prided herself and boasted about her strength... Only for it all to come crashing down. That was the exact reason why Ilya had spent the past week since her death on the game. Being sucked in to grow stronger. The lack of sleep only making her play even more so. She began to spend less time in the real world, and more time in the game. Her emotions had begun to evolve, taking over her mental health and physical health in it's entirety. Since when had it gotten to this point? The only thing that Ilya could think of doing to aid in her sleepless nights was to start from the bottom up. Grow stronger and regain her pride, and hopefully the few friendships that she had been holding close to her heart.

The memories of everything that had happened trickled back into her mind. Her whole body tensing up as she relived the moment of her death over and over again. Fate had not been kind to her, her death leaving her with emotional turmoil... But the PTSD of her memories, made her body ache and burn. Reliving your death over and over again, would cause anyone to go psychotic, but to feel the pain of your death along with it being relived over and over again... That was somehow worse than anything Ilya had experienced in her life thus far. Worse than Terrasphere closing down for four years.

Then... Ilya's mind was brought back to the present. Her situation, almost the same as the situation she had been in a week ago. Once again, she was facing death right in front of her. Normally, a monster like this would be of no problem for the strong martial artist... However, her emotions, her mind and her body were unstable. The moment she began to relive her death in the midst of her battle, was the moment that the tables turned for the worse. Her body had fallen to it's knees as the two-headed dog lunged for her neck. Tears streamed down her eyes as she tried to accept her fate. If she couldn't do even this, then how could she face her friends again.. How could she beg them to forgive her... Her shoulders began to slouch as small sobs escaped from her throat. And as she knelt there, with death staring her in the face... She stuttered out an apology to stand as her last words. "I- I'm so sorry-" HIC. "For being-" HIC. "Such a-" HIC. "D-Disappointment..."

@Brutus Dahlgren

"Talking!"
Thoughts....

 

[Brutus Dahlgren]

"GOD FUCKING DAMNIT ILYA" Brutus would slam his knee into one of the two headed hound's skulls. The creature would yelp with pain as he would grab it by the scruff, twirling it around the air before tossing it like a sack of potatoes and blasting it with a gout of flame hot enough to melt steel beams. The creature would howl in agony as he blasted it to ash and bone, and when it was dead and dusted he would turn to the sobbing lioness behind him, a glare in his eyes.

"You wanna tell me where the fuck you've been the last week?" He spat, stalking towards her. The catatonic woman wouldn't react, so he would lunge forward grabbing her by her shirt and lifting her up off the ground. "I've been worried fucking sick! First you ghost me going into the Raid, then you run off and get yourself killed? Then when I go looking for you I have to chase you all over fucking TERASPHERE." There was a fire in his eyes that burned brighter than blast he'd ever shot.

"THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF HUH?" He growled giving her a shake.

@Ilya

 

[Ilya]

☀𓆱𓃬

​

lion's pride...

Everything that was spouted out of the giant's voice fell on deaf ears. Her body not even reacting as he dealt with the two-headed dog, her mind unresponsive as she began to fall into the void. Her gaze beginning to unfocus as her sobs began to cease as the giant grabbed her by her shirt.

Silent tears streaming down, and he pulled her close to his face as he yelled and spit at her. She made no response, her eyes looking at him, but not looking at him. The blank stare that she held, was almost enough to bring her back to her senses, almost...

Her hand reached out slowly as she cupped his cheek. It was hot to the touch, her body ice cold and her fingers even colder. "W- Why are you here? H- How did you die?" She was crazy for thinking she was dead, but in her eyes nothing had happened. She hadn't been saved.

Ilya's arms grew limp as he kept shaking her, her ears pinning against her head as if drowning out sounds even louder than his angry screams. Sounds that could only be heard by her,

@Brutus Dahlgren

"Talking!"
Thoughts....

 

[Brutus Dahlgren]

The giant drew his hand back and...

SMACK

Slapped the woman across the face with enough force that it wouldn't bruise her, but enough to sting and hopefully draw he back to her senses.

"Newsflash dummy." He would growl. "You're alive, I'm alive, and we're in the middle of fucking nowhere. You wanna tell me what you've been doing for this past week? Where you've been? Hell, why you've been avoiding me? Since before the event? Since during the event? Since after the event? Do you hate me?"

He would jostle her with each question, trying to shake her out of her stupor. "You've worried everyone! Toko and Zel are besides themselves with worry, nobody knows that happened to you, can you even fucking imagine what we've been going through? I get that what you've been going through is hard and painful, but you don't have to go through it alone! We're here for you ya fuckin moron, so why don't you open that pretty mouth of yours and use your god damn words eh!"

Tears bubbled up at the corners of his eyes. "SAY SOMETHING DAMNIT."

@Ilya

 

[Ilya]

☀𓆱𓃬

​

lion's pride...

SMACK. The sting numbed her face, albeit she didn't feel the pain. Her mind blank as she stared at Bru. I'm alive...? The thought made Ilya stir though only enough to hear and slowly process everything that the giant said. Her mind clinging to every word, more shaking... I deserve worse. More shaking. "Say something damnit." What should have come across as a shout, came out at normal volume, everything else but a whisper. Yet Ilya could understand, and amongst all the shaking she would place her hand on his wrist.

"I don't think you would understand..." Her lips felt dry, cracked even... Her fingers gripping Brutus stronger and stronger without realization. Her nails almost digging into his flesh as she held on. This would keep going on, even when Brutus stopped jostling her with every question or statement.

Since she was at the right height she would slink her arms up to his shoulders after letting go of his wrist. Then she pulled at him until he drew her closer to his body. Once they were touching chests, she buried her face in between his neck and his shoulder, wrapping her arms around him. Her next sentence came out muffled and coarse from the crying she had been doing up till now. "I'm sorry..." Her apology was for more than just disappearing and ghosting everyone, though whether Brutus could discern that or not was up to how well he thought he knew her.

@Brutus Dahlgren

"Talking!"
Thoughts....

 

[Brutus Dahlgren]

"Fucking..." He hissed. "Dumbass." He hissed, wrapping his arms tight around her and squeezing tightly. "You scared me shitless, I haven't been able to get a single nights sleep because you, y'know?" He would listen to her sobs, her breath warm on his neck as he would pat her back. His own tears would subside much faster than hers, but he would not break their embrace.

"Your friends have missed you. Lets go home eh?" He would ask pulling away from her for a moment. "We can talk all of this out over drinks and food, I'm willing to be it's been a hot minute since you've eaten or bathed." He would brush some of her tears aside and give her a smile before pulling her back into a hug, this time opting to walk carrying her like a father would carry his daughter after she skinned her knee.

While she wasn't healed yet, he'd found her and they could begin the process.

@Ilya

 

[Ilya]

☀𓆱𓃬

​

lion's pride...

The embrace that the two shared made her start to feel warmer on the inside. Her blood boiling and fighting to bring sanity back to her mind. She did feel bad now, she just assumed no one cared since she had failed. But here Brutus was, saying that he had been scared, even to go as far as to not be able to sleep. Since when did she ever mean that much to a person?

Ilya was used to silence from those close to her for the past four years, and everyone new in her life would fight to befriend her just to get close to fame... Or because she was "kawaii". It was annoying, and it made her draw from people further.

"Home." She echoed Brutus, not knowing where home was. Ilya lifted her arm at the mention of bath and took a sniff. She lowered her arm self-consciously.. She reeked of blood and guts and adventure... And a men's locker room. But that's besides the fact. He brushed her tears away before hugging her and then carrying her as if he were her father.

"I'm a grown adult you brute.." Her voice still dry, "I'll let it by just this once." She then laid her head against him her eyes closing for a moment. "What's home?" She meant to say where, but it had been quite some time since she had been any place she could consider home.

@Brutus Dahlgren

"Talking!"
Thoughts....

 

[Brutus Dahlgren]

"You're a grown adult on the edge of a second death and malnutrition. I'm going to carry your ass to safety," He would trudge forward, adjusting her slightly to get a better grip on her and carry her weight better. "What's home? Well home is where all your friends are, first and foremost." He would take a few steps as he would continue.

"Home is where you feel safe." He would squeeze her tighter. "Where you can smile freely with those who care about you, where you can laugh at stupid jokes." He would frown a bit.

"Home is where our pride is." He would boop her on the nose. "You, Me, Zel, Alonso. A bunch of cats hanging around like one big pride. One big family." He frowned.

They needed to band together, not just the Lions, but all of his friends and family. They'd like some arbitrary guild lines divide them, and it'd weakened the group as a whole for it. They needed something to rally together under...

"One big pride..."

@Ilya

 

[Ilya]

☀𓆱𓃬

​

lion's pride...

Ilya tensed as he squeezed her, "Eyyy, not too tight." She patted his chest before smiling painfully at the thought of her friends. "You can't really feel at home with friends that hate your guts."

Ilya wasn't referring to Brutus, she was referring to all of those she had disappointed. Brutus had already proved that he wasn't disappointed, that he cared. How would she think to speak for the others?

As the duo continued down the road, Ilya settled in closer to Brutus, relishing in the warmth that his body provided. Her eyes kept flitting from the road to his chin, back to the road. "Say Brutus.. What happened after I... Died?" Ilya hadn't heard anything about what happened, she had steered clear of any and all indication that the fight had happened.

She didn't need the negative emotions to come flooding back, but if she had to pick a time to get the end of the story, what better time than in the arm's of a loved one.

@Brutus Dahlgren

"Talking!"
Thoughts....

 

[Brutus Dahlgren]

"We won." He would mutter simply. "Not without some deaths, but we managed to carry the day." He would glare, his eyes narrowing to slits as they shot down to catch her gaze. "And nobody hates your guts, they're all equally as worried as me, I just went out of my way to hunt you down because I knew you'd be doing something like this to get yourself hurt if I didn't find you." He would smirk slightly.

"It summoned some orb that was an attempt at some Demon reviving itself, we smashed it and the mother, and when it tried to get up anyways we nailed it again with someone's noble sacrifice." He didn't personally know Shane, but there had been a touching amount of eulogies for the woman at the camp.

"I fucked my canon to oblivion in the fight, now I'm working on building a new one. You are getting conscripted to help gather materials for it by the by." He would grin. "Anyone in particular you wanted to know about?"

@Ilya

 

[Ilya]

☀𓆱𓃬

​

lion's pride...

The explanation was straight to the point and simple enough, Ilya hadn't imagined Brutus would go out like a bard, acting everything out, so it was as she thought, just information being shot at her.

When he mentioned his canon she laughed, "Sure, I can help you out. I kind of owe you anyways, for hunting for me and saving my life." She give him a thumbs up before she pushed against his arms so she could get down out of his grasp. "I won't just die or shatter, so lemme walk with my feet now. I'm feeling better."

Then came the question of her friends, "I mean, I would love to know what happened to Zelrius..." Truth be told she hadn't had the courage to reach out to him either, knowing him he was probably self-absorbed in trying to grow stronger just like her. Hopefully he hadn't died like she had. "Who else died...?"

@Brutus Dahlgren

"Talking!"
Thoughts....

 

[Brutus Dahlgren]

"Of those I personally knew, only you and a buddy of mine Yugam passed away. There were a few more, some friends of Toko's but nobody I know personally. Zerlrius was safe, he and I worked together to smash the shit out of the Kurungar mother." He would watch as she scambled out of his arms and shakily onto her feet.

"Though I bet he's worried sick about you just like I am. You should go ahead and let everyone know you're okay." He would brace her gently with a hand. "Though I warn you, one stagger and I'm going to carry you bridal style all of the way home."

He would chuckle slightly and would pat her on the shoulder. "I hope you're ready to help me hunt down some strange plant monsters, because we're gonna need to turn some bush dudes into charcoal to cook some magical Iron into magical steel."

@Ilya

 

[Ilya]

☀𓆱𓃬

​

lion's pride...

Yugam was a name that held familiarity to Ilya, having had an adventure with him during the week that she had no contact with any of her friends. Their contact hadn't lasted long, though Ilya had plans to eventually hang out or do something again with the man when she felt more confident in herself.

Taking in a shaky breath she kept pushing forwards, not wanting to plant anymore worry in Brutus' mind. "You don't have to worry, I'm okay, really." She waved her hands before clasping them behind her.

"I do have one question for you, Bru. Why is it... Always plants with you?" She blinked at him, her facial expression stoic and serious as she blank faced him. "I'm not complaining, but a girl can only have so many vines wrapped around her in lewd ways before she goes insane." Heh heh. Ilya let out a snort, holding back a fit of laughter. Always either vines or tentacles... I swear.

@Brutus Dahlgren

"Talking!"
Thoughts....

 

[Brutus Dahlgren]

"You see, as a pyromancer, I have a natural hatred of all things flammable." He would grin, booping her on the nose playfully. "And last time we fought plants, I was the one who got felt up. First by the plants, then you!" He would chuckle alongside her, provoking her hopefully to break out into laughter. He wanted so desperately to rekindle that light inside of her, to give her something to smile about if not for just a moment.

"But if that's your thing go off sis, you could use a bit of..." He paused. "Attention after the week you've had. Do some self care, get your rocks off, whatever it takes to help you return back to being you." He would hook an arm around her and pulling her closer in a side hug.

"It's good to have found you though Illy,"

For a moment, everything was all good again. All of his missing companions were accounted for. He could breath easy.

@Ilya

 

[Ilya]

☀𓆱𓃬

​

lion's pride...

The lioness' nostrils flared and her tail flicked, annoyed. Her head fwipped side to side for a few moments as she reacted to him booping her nose. "Heyy, that's my nose there Sir." She stuck her tongue out at him before she rolled her eyes. "Of couuuurse, that's whyyy. I totallllly believe you." Ilya's words were purposefully drawn out as she fell into a familiar pattern of the bully. Though her mind, was still elsewhere. Her mood, still dampened by everything that had happened.

"Attention... Hmmmm... I feel like I get too much of that in my life..." She felt tears begin to brim the edge of her eyes, shaking her head once again, only this time in an attempt to get rid of the tears that threatened to begin. When the girl felt comfortable enough, which didn't take very long, she would lift her head back up and smile gently at Brutus. "It's good to be back..."

Taking a very deep breath, the woman moved onto more cheery things. "Soooo, I didn't ask this before buuuut. You and Toko? You like her?" She waggled her eyebrows at the man as she elbowed him gently.

@Brutus Dahlgren

"Talking!"
Thoughts....

 

[Brutus Dahlgren]

Brutus would blush slightly at the mere mention of the Hare, his gaze darting away. "Yeah, actually. She and I recently started to see eachother after the Kurungar fight." His tail would swish side to side ambiently as he spoke. "It's a pretty recent change in my life, but..." his blush would deepen, "But after all we've been through it made sense..."

"She's been my partner in crime for most of my run in game, between her and Corsair I couldn't ask for better teammates." His heart thumped slightly just thinking about it. "But that's not to say the other people running around in my life aren't special to me either. My friends are the secret to my strength." His gaze would drift back to her.

"That all being said, you wanna talk? You ghosted me after we met, I barely saw you during the event, and then you ran away after the fight. Is there something I did?" He would ask raising his eyebrow. "If so I would like to know so I can avoid it happening again. I have a plan and I need people like you to help me with it."

@Ilya