Complete Private Vintergard Tears Of Denial

[Fiora Di Angelo]

The last of her chains finally dropped, the physical ones at least did, and Fiora mind's wandered elsewhere the quieter things grew around her, supported by a diminished sense of hearing. Every step deeper through the woods made sure she was one way from the main roads, from the hellscape left by the raid over Camp Hope. Wherever she goes, however, the leylines illuminated the world from above and reminded her of the duty left others were undergoing.

Her heart burned with wretched passion. Strings were yanked from in order to stray her from her path. -It- wanted her to kill, now that her beloved rested peacefully on her arms. Yet her mind had gone blank the moment the battlefield's cries were drowned by wildlife and the whistling winds alike. Were she any more light-headed, this could have been Eastern Brisshal, and the tree she rested against in hopes of getting the air back into her lungs was the very same Ronja and her met under.

While she found her peace in her lover's safety, it became hard to ignore the seconds before disaster. It made her will falter to watch tears roll down her cheeks as she fought against her own body in vain attempt to snap out of her trance.

She had tried hard enough not to, but inevitably, droplets fell over Ronja's features, only... The blood had gone dry, and all that was left were tears. For a moment, she wanted to imagine everything was okay, trust that optimism would bear fruits and Luthien and Yugam would dispatch the threat. Realizing the boulder on her back is not the world over her shoulders made it all the easier for her to drop that metaphorical weight and set herself free from all thoughts that didn't matter anymore.

Her lips rised into the faintest of smiles, surrendering her limbs to exhaustation as she slid against the tree and sat down, her left arm supported Ronja, fingertips gently scratching her scalp.

Thoomp-thoomp... Thoomp-thoomp.

The rhythmic beat of the elf's heartbeats go against Ronja's ear.

@Ronja Bubblyfoot

 

[Ronja Bubblyfoot]

The darkness that took over Ronja was both blinding and deafening.

But what preceded it was what truly scared the magia. The vague memories of her standing, the horrified faces of those that had been betrayed by her. The painful expressions of Yugam, Harper, Luthien... And Fiora...

The latter being the source of a gruesome and horrible sight, with her eye pierced...

It felt like a nightmare.

But Ronja, even in her unconscious state, knew it wasn't a nightmare. It was the reality, it was what she had done, under the control of something... Someone she didn't know. And yet, this someone, she pledged a loyalty that she would only ever give for the same people she wounded and hurted so much.

In that darkness she was locked on, she could only lament.

A pricke of cold touched her face.

It was raining.

Her face faintly twisted with a frown.

Something was beating... And it felt so, so familiar.

Ronja's eyelids twitched, with tears forming under them and already rolling down before she could even wake up properly. The strong emotions that were held back in her unconscious state, now were all released. The regrets, the fear, the sorrow.

The very first thing she did was breaking down into tears, sobbing uncontrollably as she tried to push herself away from the one that was holding her.

She didn't even need to look, she didn't even need to hear her voice.

The hearbeats and her touch were indistinguishable. And Ronja, deserved none of that.

@Fiora Di Angelo

 

[Fiora Di Angelo]

The tranquility was finally broken. Even when expected, she couldn't be ready for it, not to see Ronja's tears flow twice the amount her own. Her body anchored itself to this spot, so calm, yet soon so calamitous.

It was those tears that warned her of the tumultuous ocean of emotions, awakened from their slumber, yet that confirmed her worst fears: Every detail remains fresh in Ronja's mind, and now she has to battle with her own inner demons.

Both of them.

Her grasp tightened, the elf didn't budge despite this being her last stand, the last straws of her strength she would push her body through, unaware of where her willpower came from exactly. Were she under Szofrit's control, perhaps this would be her end, and Fiora was ready to fall while holding her killer in her embrace. But that didn't comfort her, knowing Ronja desperately fought against her grip. If only, it sparked reminders:

'You shall always be a monster.'

"Stop running." Pained, Fiora swallowed hard, grasping for some semblance of severity within her tone, but only pleas were all coming out of her mouth once she failed to show herself as the strong, capable knight. "I can't take it anymore. No-not now." Words choked on her own sobbing, mild compared to hers.

If only their positions were switched, she might be able to hear Ronja's heartbeats once again.

Maybe it would be easier for them to digest if she was the villain. And whenever a better possibility showed up in her mind, it made her failure more apparent.

Her tears doubled, her breath turned harsh.

"I looked you in the eyes in that alley, and knew I lost everything. I should have saved you." The light in her eyes turned dull, her anger finally lost it's grip on her.

She had become yet another aimless wanderer within the snowstorm.

"I promise you this time I won't leave you alone again. I'll-"

Emotion fueled Fiora's voice, and despite the differences, on these words Ronja could hear it, as clear as always. Despite the subtle differences, there it was,

"I'll restore it all to how it should be."

The pink-haired girl's voice.

@Ronja Bubblyfoot

 

[Ronja Bubblyfoot]

Even with her magia's strength, Ronja would never be able to escape Fiora's grip. The sheer strength, and considering the current state of the magia, brought a situation she couldn't escape. Not like she had done during that whole day, tha she slipped past the elf and her group of friends.

Regardless, Ronja struggled. She fought, she pushed, she did everything she could... Fiora needed to stay away from her, Fiora needed to be safe, Fiora...

... Fiora's voice has never sounded so painful...

The voice made Ronja gasp in between her sobs. The plea, the despair, one that was similar to Ronja's. The same thoughts and worries they shared... The feeling of 'losing' something so important.

Ronja's hands squeezed against Fiora's clothing, with another sequence of sob halting her speech, hindering her expressions... And it was when Ronja realized...

She forced... "Ni... Nico..." She forced her voice out, burying her face against her chest, slowly giving up on escaping.

"Ronja thought... That was it... Ronja... Ronja thought you hated her... Ronja thought... She had lost you..." Ronja's teeth gritted, shaking her head. "Ronja didn't... Ronja doesn't know what was going on... She hurted you... She hurted Luthy and Yuu." Her hands clenched against Fiora's chest, clutching on her clothes.

"She tried to kill you."

Her voice nearly broke once again.

"I-It wasn't your fault, Nico... It was Ronja's fault. All her fault... She knew what she was doing, but she just..."

Couldn't stop it.

@Fiora Di Angelo

 

[Fiora Di Angelo]

Every push and shove was a knife digging through her heart. Silent, but painful all the same, and it wasn't just the burning hot sensation, a phantom pain localized within that hollow socket on her face. Ronja didn't need to know how much it hurt to see her struggle, perhaps her voice might give it away. But with enough sorrow blending in, she knew it would be fine. It would be unforgivable to let go of her right now.

If Ronja had begun with holding her the way she did, perhaps the fight would be over already. Once Ronja begun to squeeze back at the fabrics of her red stained clothes, the elf gave up her own struggle, and her arms fell upon the grass.

That tear-struck face of hers, the magia's will to speak was there, but her body couldn't bear it and it shows crystal clear upon her expressions. Twisted by pain, by a guilt they both shared. A heavy lid wished to close, but Fiora kept that eye wide open.

"Ni... Nico..."

"I'm sor-sorry." The sole mention of her name finally broke the last straw, light sobs became unmanageable. The desperate hold upon her clothes forced her restless body to reciprocate it, wrapping her arms around the magia if only to pull her a little closer.

Ronja finally opened her own pandora's box, and with it came every single damnation she caused upon them. She could have heard this from anyone else, but just hearing Ronja this crushed, drowning in a pool of her own sorrow.

Her eyes would never dry so long as she watches Ronja cry.

"You were under mind control, they know, and-" But her words were right, they struck a cord on her heart. Her hands squeezed a little harder, tightening her embrace.

She lost me...

"Don't. Don't do th-this to yourself." She gritted her teeth, a shadow cast upon her features just as she let her chin rest on top of her lover's hairs, hoping this would be enough to keep the attention off her face.

Thump-Thump. The pace increased.

"I'm so angry... So angry all the time now, It hurts. I-I did something bad. I needed to save you, so I give them everything and-"

Her voice died off, overwhelmed by her ceaseless sobbing. Fiora straightened her back, fighting to push the words out of her mouth.

"It's not your fault, It's... It's her fault, for doing this to you. I left her alone, -we- left her alone, and she..." Her tone recovered some of it's energy, in the most negative of manners, as the unfairness of their despair slipped past her lips. Enough to get her blood boiling again, for the light in her eye to shimmer like it did in their confrontation, like a little yellow flame on top of her iris.

A light just as faint emanated behind the silver locks hiding away the hollow eyesocket. It burned her alive, and the pain only multiplied it.

"I just," The danger became apparent to her, quick enough to make Fiora's stomach twist in disgust to herself, so she resorted to look into Ronja's eyes, as that vitality of hers died off, replaced by regret and a trembling lip, just as she gave no more than a glance to her lover

To her pain, to her sorrow, remind herself she was the only victim in this mess.

To how similar these woods looked to Brisshal.

I just...

"Wanted you to be happy."

Like when we first met.

@Ronja Bubblyfoot

 

[Ronja Bubblyfoot]

Why was she even apologizing? Ronja was the one in the wrong, Ronja was the one that failed to see how harming it was everything that she was doing.

Ronja held back to not burst into another loud breakdown, remaining quiet for most of part, whimpering as she halted her voice from surpassing Fiora's. Listening to her lover's troubles, to her attempt to lessen the severity of her actions, to push away her blame...

But the Magia girl didn't need to be an elf to feel what Fiora was feeling.

With the least of what she had of strength, she held Fiora a bit closer, tighter. And even with her broken voice and spirit, Ronja shook her head. "Ronja... Ronja don't want to see you again, she saw it... She already saw you... This anger, this hatred... She hates it, she hates how she forced you to--" Her lips pressed tightly, eyes shutting as she felt the memories rewinding in her mind.

When their eyes finally met again, Ronja's expressions trembled, seeing Fiora's face like that made Ronja want to run away, forever in shame for being the cause of it.

Yet the kindness of her words... Despite everything.

"-- Ronja doesn't deserve happiness, not after what she had done--"

Her fists clenched.

"-- Ronja doesn't deserve her friends, she gave them away for Szofrit, she tried to hurt them, she tried to murder them--"

Her eyes narrowed and lowered at the weight of those words, with the brim of their iris disappearing.

"-- Ronja doesn't deserve your tears... Your smile... Or anything--"

The tight grip she had on Fiora loosened, with her arms falling limp.

"-- Ronja is no princess. Ronja deserves no knight--"

She shook her head.

"-- She isn't a Rapunzel that must be locked away in a tower to be protected from the world--"

Her eyes, her face, and perhaps even her heart turned away from Fiora, not feeling worth of even being there, held by her.

"-- She is a Rapunzel that must be locked away in a tower for the world to be protected from her."

@Fiora Di Angelo

 

[Fiora Di Angelo]

"Ronja... Ronja don't want to see you again,"

She urged herself to listen, to keep herself steady despite the rapture it formed on what little happiness she held. Into that hope that everything would be alright. She just needed to hear a little longer, Ronja wouldn't say that, she would never...

And yet, every word was a double-edged sword. Maybe the magia could not see how every single critique she made to herself bounced back to the person she cared the most about, so much, that she intended to push them away.

It was working...

"Ronja..." She wanted to stop her on her tracks, but that momentum pierced through everything she wished to say. Any semblance of her rage died, and it returned, just as it promised it would: Fear.

Her gaze went back past the trees to watch over in direction to the Dragonship. So far away, yet she felt Szofrit had gotten the last laugh on them. The rain upon their sunshine, the one who had pleasure in their pain, and the worst of all is... She probably didn't even knew them or the blights she brought with her.

Ronja's strength faded-- Her eyes turned away from her own, and silence reigned.. She had to decide between two paths, and time runs against her, with every second making Ronja slip further from her grasp, and sorrow started to fog her mind just as her own ravenous fury ignited embers within her hollowed heart. Was it stupid like that? Perhaps -it- was right. She couldn't change.

"No." She shook off her head, broken but resolute. She chose the third option instead. The answer wasn't in her.

"It's hard to change. Really hard..."

Her hand reached out for her chin, middle and index finger resting along Ronja's cheek, gently guiding her so their eyes could meet once again.

"But it can get better. Despite everything... Good things can happen." Her eye closed shut, having gone allergic to tears by now, cheeks reddened and her eye almost bloodshot at this point. But it forced itself, if only to lock it with Ronja's. A little discomfort a price she had grown numb to in that instant.

"You said that--"

Fiora took a deep breath. It was Ronja: It always was. She could never change on her own, not so long as she follows the same path of misfortune.

"And every smile I give you, every single tear I drop for you, and everything I do for you-- There is no such thing as wasting something on you."

Fiora finally let go of her chin, her arms repositioning themselves yet again. Ronja would feel one under her knees, and one around her back.

"And I- I said you gave me a reason to live. Because you are a part of me. And you will always be with me."

And the knightess finally lifted her princess up once again, between gritted teeth and muffled groans as her legs cried to give up, trembled on their own weakness, yet stood firm in their duty once again, her back straightening a second afterwards.

"But if I let you go, that part...- That part dies with me..." Her legs begun to move once again as Fiora set her course once again.

"You don't need a knight, and I don't need a princess--"

Her steps faltered, and Fiora dropped to one knee, a low cry escaping her lips: Her body was at it's limits, and yet this was so familiar to their adventures in the mines. The thought alone granted her the strength she needed, both to speak, and walk.

"I need you, Ronja. And you need me. Because changing is hard, because getting better is hard. But together we... We-"

And finally she succumbed, bracing herself against the fall, dropping back first, every ounce of strength going from legs to arms as she kept her lover on her embrace.

"We will change. You don't need to be a rap-rapunzel. You choose who to be-" She groaned, biting down on her tongue as every bit of air left her lungs, and finally she gave up, resting her head against the ground. "And to me, you are Ronja. The Inventor. My one ray of light."

She whispered.

@Ronja Bubblyfoot

 

[Ronja Bubblyfoot]

Dejected, Ronja just wished she could disappear into non-existence. If she could log out right now, she would've. Her UI, however, was ruined. Ruined like everything she had touched in this nightmare of a day. The only brief comfort she had, was the woman that held her, and it was a comfort that felt undeserving, that felt unfair for her to have.

Her system was slowly shutting down, both metaphorically and physically. With her recharging mode starting to set in, hoping that at some point she would just be able to end bothering Fiora...

... End bothering Nico, with her presence.

A silence was returning to fog Ronja's eyes, ears and heart once again.

But a touch on her chin made her peer up at Fiora as their eyes met once again. Those words, the same ones she had repeated back in their first real life meeting. Her eyes were still darkened, empty of brim until Fiora expressed more, told her more... And reassured her with feelings that were mutual, even if Ronja felt so undeserving of them.

A glow in her eyes flickered when Fiora too a hold on her, with her eyes briefly widening when she was suddenly lifted. "N-Nico..?" She muttered with a weak voice, with her lips frowning. "Nico, stop, you are--" Ronja's tone screamed with concern, seeing the pain she felt just to carry her in the arms.

Were Ronja not so weakened, she would've struggled more- But even then, that would mean hurting Fiora further.

Her words were both warming and painful. Those were all mutual. Ronja only learned she wasn't complete when Nico had finally filled the gap she had, one that Ronja had never acknowledged. Perhaps, this was what made her feel even worse about everything. "Ronja..." She muttered, looking at Fiora, with her hand trembling as she tried to reach for Fiora's face, trying to reach for her tears, but soon the elf collapsed, and Ronja braced herself as she fell over her.

As she felt the comfort of Fiora's body, and the reassurance of her next words, Ronja's eyes clicked twice, retracting as tears began forming again- Even if she quickly dismissed them. To be seen as Fiora's ray of light, was something that Ronja couldn't help but feel... Happy, yet so sad she couldn't accomplish to be what her lover saw on her.

"... R-Ronja doesn't want to lose you, Nico..." Ronja's voice broke once again, with her eyes closing as she shook her head. "R-Ronja feels the same... Ronja never felt she had anything missing before... She knew she had her problems, she knew she didn't have her... Health... But she had accepted it already, but... If there was one thing, she didn't know she was missing--"

Her hand reached to her chest, managing a strength to squeeze it tightly.

"-- It was that Ronja was missing you. It wasn't Terrasphere, this place makes Ronja... Do everything she couldn't, but still..."

She didn't know, after all-

"Ronja had never met you, of course... But... After she met you..."

Ronja gritted her teeth.

"... She has seen a hope she has never expected to exist..." Her voice whimpered, and her eyes opened again, flickering to look at Fiora, clicking a couple times as she forced her words, her feelings out.

"... For once, Nico..." Her tears rolled down again. "... She felt like she had something to lose..."

Her face buried against her chest.

"... She felt like... She had something important..."

The voice mumbled, melting down while breaking.

"... For once... She felt like her life... Outside of here..."

A gasp.

"... Was worth living it..."

She cried, shaking her head as she struggled to keep her emotions contained, releasing a weakened scream, a plea, an apologize. Between unintelligible sobs and gasps, she apologized over and over, but more desperately than anything else...

"... Pl-Please, don't... leave... Ronja..."

@Fiora Di Angelo

 

[Fiora Di Angelo]

The concern within her voice became fuel for her legs. it was distant, an echo of what it could be. Weak, yet the more it strays from that bubbly tone she has, the more it matched her true self out of the game. So her ear went deaf to these warnings, and her body, no matter how hard it begun to decline, continued to drag itself across the land, one step at a time, until it finally came crumbling. The only strength left was poured to listen. To open her heart to Ronja's woes, to the realization that both had come to: They are incomplete.

A voice fit for a lullaby, broken once again, but with it came the bittersweet beauty of her words. She meant so much to someone else. The love she so longed for but could never truly picture it until now, with Ronja letting her heart speak out for herself, all the more painful to watch as she struggled to even keep the words going. But that's what made it so pure in her eye.

Try as she might, she started to sob once again, as hope reignited within her bossom, lit by Ronja's own. Only this time the flame could stay alive in both of their hearts at once.

Her left hand rested by her nape, keeping the inventor against her chest, as the right wrapped around her waist. She fell quiet between tears, and only Ronja's gasps and sobs remained to fill in her ears, her screams. She begged.

And begged. And Fiora's hug tightened just a little more, as she became enlightened with her purpose.

"I'm going nowhere without you."

Frail, like a weak mumble upon the winds, Nico's voice finally escaped her lips after that silence, and so did life within her golden gaze.

"I'm done with being miserable, Ronja. I don't... I don't want that life anymore, locked away on a room with the lights out." Weary and soft-spoken, she made a point in smiling while Ronja cried her heart out, in waiting for her lover to see something else on her face than anger, and bitterness, and pain.

Since she so blamed herself for being the cause of it, then she could be happy knowing that smile was also her own doing.

"So, promise me that you will let me make your world better."

Fiora lifted Ronja from her shoulders, enough for them to be face to face yet again, gazing deep into these teary eyes, as if appraising them for what they really are meant to be. For what she wants them to be...

Happy.

"Just like I let you do the same with mine."

Her heart opened just as she gently lowered her lover yet again, giving her the sweet anticipation of a kiss, just mere seconds before their lips met one with the other. Wet lips from all these tears mixed their grief, their sorrow and pain... All for them to shoulder the damage together and wash it away as one.

And so too, would Ronja's love and Nico's enrapture one with the other.

@Ronja Bubblyfoot

 

[Ronja Bubblyfoot]

The embrace that wrapped Ronja tighter made her muster a bit more of energy, wrapping her own arms around Fiora as her fingers quivered, still uncertain of how much she deserved. But at that point, according to her words, it wasn't a matter of deserving or fairness... But of need, of wishes.

They wished each other, they needed each other. Even if they never could ever possibly think they had to, before finally meeting.

Despite the guilty, despite the worries, despite everything, Fiora's words washed Ronja's heart.

She wasn't going anywhere, and yet, the words that followed them were concerning. Being miserable? Locked away in a room with lights out..? Even in between her tears, Ronja leaned away, trying to have a good look on her face. Her eyes hinting concern for Fiora... For Nico's well being.

... Miserable..?

Ronja's expressions frowned, and with an effort, her own hands reached for Fiora's face, with a quivering breath making her words take a moment to slip, not being quick enough to either respond or to question those words that concerned her so much.

With their lips touching, Ronja's eyes widened slightly, narrowing before eventually closing, taking her moment to accept it and hesitantly reciprocate it. There was a saltiness from their tears, the bitterness of uncertainty, but it was all overriden by the sweetness of their feelings and promises for each other. It soothed the magia, not for the mere act of affection, but for the meaning behind it.

Nico was truly not going anywhere without her.

Nico wanted to make her world better.

Nico wanted her to make her world better.

One last caress on her face, with a brief brush of their lips as they parted sealed the gentle exchange, and Ronja looked at her lover, still having sorrow in her eyes, but behind that, hope was ignited. The hope of changing.

"... Ronja's... World is already much better with you, Nico..." Ronja said, smiling faintly, albeit still bitter for everything. "... Ronja wants to be able to make your world just as better, as you make Ronja's..." She muttered, feeling a weight in her chest as she proceeded with her words-

"... Why you are miserable..? Who... What makes you feel like that, Nico?" She caressed her cheek. "Ronja won't stand for this."

@Fiora Di Angelo

 

[Fiora Di Angelo]

Finally it wasn't her the only one, as Ronja embraced her back, despite uncertainty displayed upon trembling fingers. There wasn't a way through words to solve it all, and that is true: She would let their feelings decide, with their voices as echoes of them.

Tired as she were, Fiora kept her chin up as Ronja's hands tenderly held her face on place. She could notice this new surge, concerned, but far more resolute than before. It carried the energy to solve rather than to grimace. She didn't give much time after that before their lips met.

A memory to treasure, a passion crafted not by basic urges, but by dreams, needs deeper than physical. It proved hard to let go of it, as everything felt so peaceful like this. Eyes closed, mouths locked one with the other, and the promise they sealed with it.

A brief brush brought a longing, Fiora's lips chased for Ronja's, stopping themselves once concious of the act, her hands reached out to rest on top of the magia's for a moment, trailing down over her wrists before dropping to her sides once again.

"Then... What's got you so worried? Is it the others?" She held her tongue back at then, frowning to herself at the haste in which she came up with that question, but it was hard not to: Hope behind these newly lit eyes carried the veil of concern, and her own mimicked that sentiment, if only to be left at an impasse once Ronja smiled.

And that promise made her smile and eat away at her thoughts. "You already do. All you have to do is keep smiling for me, Bubblyfoot." She sighed, her last sniffs finally beginning to die off.

Ronja was quick to ask away, to get her to elaborate, and it felt so... Adorable. To be this determined to change things, the strength upon robotic eyes and a sweet touch upon her cheek, before her catch phrase caught her off-guard, and her smile grew a little wider as she looked away, the rosy tone on her cheeks very well blended with the general redness on her face from crying her heart out.

With the embarassment dying off, her expression returned back to neutrality. "My family, my past... It keeps haunting my decisions. But worst of all, myself." Apologetic, Fiora bent forth, rising up into a sitting position, with Ronja on her lap and her hands holding the magia reassuringly around her waistline. "I told you how I used to live before I met you. And I thought for a while that was all I would be, and that it was okay- I-I kind of accepted it. But after I met you, I knew I had lost my way long ago. I can't go back to that." The dark upon her voice would die right then, just as that hope begun to grow contagious, and her own voice got infected by it.

"But, that's why I said I would never abandon you. This is past tense, Ronja. You already took care of my misery, and our friends helped me get away from my family. One day, I'll leave Philadelphia forever, and that will all be a memory from the past." Her hands reached out, but this time they pulled Ronja's off her face and between eachother where the magia could see how their fingers interlock one with the other.

"Ronja, how are your energy levels looking? We shouldn't be really that off from Camp Hope, there's probably a means to recharge there." It was her time to show herself concerned. The UI probably didn't work, if her hunch was right. "But I want out of there as soon as possible. I need to get my mind out of it, and I don't think I can so long as I keep seeing swords and panicking faces." Even falling asleep felt like a better option, so long as they got as far away from Vintergard as possible...

@Ronja Bubblyfoot

 

[Ronja Bubblyfoot]

The others.

Ronja winced at the thought. One thing was Fiora, but there were also the many others she had hurted, allies, strangers, friends... She couldn't just pretend that problem didn't exist. The amount of pain she had brought to other players, the Landers... To people in general.

"... Ronja... Will have to work a lot on it... To have their trust again... If they ever even want it, that is."

Maybe she wouldn't even be able to go back to MIT. Just thinking about looking at Luthien or Harper was enough to make her curl her lips in an evergrowing worry- Yugam, who she didn't have many opportunities to talk with, was probably even harder, especially when she had Luthien at gunpoint.

Her averted gaze then went up to Fiora, with her request of her smile making Ronja's expressions quiver. She wished she could give the other something more genuine than the faint smile she had mustered before it broke with the question.

But for Fiora, Ronja did at least muster another faint smile, one she tried to keep on her lips. There were conflicting feelings across it, but it quickly fade as Fiora went on with her troubles, with Ronja tilting her head as Fiora took another position by sitting. The hand that rested on her lover's cheeks moved again, caressing her face carefully, being the least she could do to reassure her.

"You shouldn't be your own obstacle, Fiora..." Ronja frowned her lips. "Things are already too hard as they are..." She sighed, averting her eyes for a moment.

"Ronja... Will try to help you on it, as much as she can..." Ronja said, feeling her chest flutter when the confirmation of never abandoning her was brought up once again. "To get away from this past, from these memories... Ronja doesn't know the details, but--" She paused, looking at Fiora's eyes. "There are probably solutions for this..."

As her hand was taken away from Fiora's face, she squeezed her lover's hand gently, with her eyes flickering as she tried to determine the answers for her.

"17%" Ronja responded. "Ronja couldn't spend the last of her energies before you brought her down." She said, looking at Fiora, and nodding briefly in agreement. "Ronja... Agree..." Ronja said, letting out a sigh, and giving another glance at the area, feeling the regrets crawling on her chest once again.

@Fiora Di Angelo

 

[Fiora Di Angelo]

The everlasting damage was inevitable. Just noticing Ronja flinch made her heart throb with cold rage, a light scowl displayed that much on what part of her face could be seen, if only because the culprit is out there and Last Hope is not using their torso as a scabbard for it's blackened steel.

"We all were informed of the situation. We were there when something similar happened in Camp Hope, when the magia assaulted it." Fiora explained what she could not before, guided by raw emotion. "You were under someone else's control. Brainwashed." It wouldn't be easy to get that through her, and the elf didn't expect it to be like that.

It proved a struggle just to get a smile upon these lips. They were in no condition to simply smile, but regardless, Ronja tried her hardest to give her a faint glitter of hope. One that proved harder to reciprocate than she expected, or at least it felt like that to her: A faint smile from Ronja deserved a wider one from her. So instead... She shared.

She shared her emotions the way any elf could. Where she had done it to enforce her wrath upon her lover, this time it was happiness-- It was joy, the purest display she could give of it. Diminutive, like an ember safekept by it's own fuel. Warm, and no less intense than the magia's. And just like it came it left, if only to not linger too long in her head.

Fiora tilted herself just a little bit against the comfort of Ronja's hand. For a second she wanted to simply bask in it, but these words went through her mind, repeated themselves and rearranged thoughts. The expression the magia gave her served as a reminder...

"You are already helping me more than you think, Ronja..." Her right hand reached out for her beloved, reciprocating the gesture as her thumb fiddled gently against her cheek. "But the same goes to you. They will forgive you, they came all this way with me just to snap you out of it, be sure of it. People are aware of the brainwashing Szofrit has been doing. But you need to forgive yourself. It doesn't matter how many people trust you, if you don't trust yourself first. Take it from me." A bittersweet taste upon her voice spoke with experience about the matter. "Not a 'probably'. We will find the solutions we are looking for, so long as we keep searching." She reassured, leaning forth until their foreheads gently rested one with the other and her eye gently close it's lid.

For as nice as their solitude is, it wouldn't last for long if Ronja didn't reach Camp Hope's station to get herself back in shape. She dreaded to imagine how many Landers were in there among Starcalled. How many would recognize Ronja..?

Questions for later.

"Alright. Can you walk for a little bit?" Given the stunt that got them onto the floor in the first place, she didn't have that much faith in her strength at the moment. Not until she could recover a little bit too. "We are almost there, so hold onto me until we get there."

@Ronja Bubblyfoot

 

[Ronja Bubblyfoot]

The scowl at Fiora's face made Ronja's expressions freeze for a moment, with her breath being held at the brief reminder of what had happened hours ago. The rage, the hatred the one she held so dear could keep in her.

While the mention of her being brainwashed made sense, Ronja couldn't help but cast a glance to her hands, with her memories being fresh and clear that she didn't truly feel forced to do any of that. It was... Strange... Almost unsettling how it worked. "... Ronja has no doubts she, right now, wouldn't do anything she had done, but..." A quivering breath escaped from her lips. "Th-They... Ronja... Ronja didn't really feel any hesitation... And... She didn't feel like someone was forcing her to do it... She just felt... So compelled, and..." A frown crossed her face.

Yet, as the frown was on her face, something bubbled in her, making her feel an incongruous happiness. Her lips even dared to bring a wide smile to her lips, but... Something felt wrong about it. There was nothing to be happy about, aside from Fiora's forgiveness, and even then, she didn't feel worth of it.

Her eyes trailed, looking at Fiora with a cheerful expression, but one so devoid of any integrity. Her gaze was as sorrowful as a second ago, and a faint chuckle escaped from her lips.

"What are you doing..?" She huffed a faint giggle, but her eyelids trembled.

"If Ronja was really brainwashed, her mind was already played with enough." Ronja said, almost sounding playful, but a faint guttural sound from it made it clear those words came straight from her wounded heart.

"They aren't real. Allow Ronja have her own feelings... Even if she hates them, right now." Ronja said, staring intently at Fiora's eyes. Perhaps a bit too intently, as she slowly averted her gaze, peeking down as she knew it her lover didn't mean ill by those actions. Still, she couldn't afford to let it happen, not when meddling with her mind had brought so much pain already.

"Sorry." She said, returning her eyes to Fiora, and shaking her head briefly.

"No, Ronja can't walk, not right now..."

@Fiora Di Angelo

 

[Fiora Di Angelo]

To have that much power, beyond good and evil, it was simply the ability to kill and harm the ones you care for, to do unspeakable acts without a single bit of hesitation. To watch Ronja look at her own hands, to hear her explain the events from her own point of view...

Ronja's view of her own hands would be cut short by Fiora's resting on top of them.

"That's what being brainwashed is... You were turned into someone you aren't." She let go of her hands, trailing fingertips across her palms, sighing off once she tried to think of anything to do, whatever that could help Ronja now that she needs her the most, even if it's by a sliver.

And it worked for a moment, where she saw the bubbliness in Ronja awaken once again, and to see her smiling at her like she used to. There was life everywhere, but once she locked eyes with Ronja, fear took over the shock on her face.

There was life everywhere but in these eyes, so hollow she could peer straight through them and find all the shattered pieces that made up the magia's emotions just from early ago. It... It was all she wanted in a surface level.

Except it wasn't.

"I-" Fiora lost track of her question, her breath growing heavier at the lovely giggle that deafened her ear. A nightmare masked as a dream. Just what Szofrit had done: grant them an illusion to force them to do what she wanted. Enforcers of their own whims.

Her head dropped, both hands reaching to her face, pulling the bangs high above without taking notice of it, yet with both hands over her face she had unconciously spared Ronja the view, nails digging into her own scalp, the guilt begun to split her heart in two. And she couldn't get that stare out of her mind now, nor she wanted to be spared of that punishment.

"No, i-it's my fault... I just did what she did to you, didn't I. I'm..."

A monster, but that's a word she couldn't let her broken voice mutter out. Fiora shook her head from side to side, sniffing once before rubbing her eye a little to push the tears off before Ronja could take notice of them. A deep breath allowed a second wind to catch to her lungs, and this time truly revitalizing the elf unlike last. It would have to do for the time being. Even if she had to crawl.

"I will make do. Jus-just try to relax." She said, and she tried to smile back at her, but nothing came out from her lips. It was easier to torture her mind and heart alike until the thorns wrapped around them made her learn the lesson.

"I'm sorry. I'm not doing it again..." But that wouldn't be enough, not for her now that she begun to lift Ronja on a different position, holding one hand over the magia's thigh and the other on her back.

Perhaps if she managed to not whince once despite broken ribs jabbing at her, she would feel a little more deserving of her love

@Ronja Bubblyfoot