Complete Private Not Your Wedding Thread

[Lune]

3 / 3

Moonsong's feeling a little bit cranky after the whole kool-aid man wagon shenanigan. She could really use something to wind up. Someone then used their brain and proposed that the group have small duels and practices. Without thinking any further, she called out to a guy literally just chilling out and minding his business. Two major problems, though:

- The man actually agreed to it
- Loser buys dinner

She walked toward the man she challenged. Moonsong picked a totally random dude because she thought he looks lanky and small, but it turns out @Pete Simpson is taller than she might realize. Well, no backing down now. If she wins this, the faction leaders might turn their heads toward her.

"You got it. But the only dinner you'll get..."

Bring the boys out.

The girl hums a tune, causing four arcane greatswords falls from the sky planted on the ground. They slowly lift themselves and hover around her.

"... Is the disgusting mushroom arm over there. Attack." She taunted.

Rolls

No action

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[Chrys]

3 / 3

As an ally, Pete's not that into the idea of having to fight a girl. Of course, Pete's not that informed of an ally, so that mindset may not actually be what an actual ally should have. As with most things, Pete barely scratches the surface of everything he finds himself supporting, whether it be ideals or whatever's "cool" that month. Still, it's the thought that counts, right? Whoa, is that who I'm supposed to fight? Well, well, well... Me thinks my love life is starting to look up. It wasn't. Far from it.

Pete was sitting down when the very attractive woman (@Moonsong) shouted her challenge, so he immediately replied with a bunch of random bull crap that came to mind, his attention elsewhere. When he finally got a good look at her, his face beamed, slowly rising to his feet and revealing to her that he was actually pretty tall. Like a gentle giant. Like those skyscrapers that ruin parks just by existing. "What's your name? Mine's Pete. Pete Simpson."

With the introductions nonchalantly out of the way, Pete approached the woman and launched his first attack, which wasn't actually an attack, though he tried to make it look that way because it was supposed to be a fight. Despite his not-so-impressive physical appearance, Pete was actually pretty good in Martial Arts. At least in this game. "A snack from a snack? I'm down!"

"Here I go..." So he did a forward thrust to her face that he simply intended as a feign, wanting instead to brush strands of her hair off her face and tuck them behind her ear. Like in those romantic comedies.

"Gotcha!" No, he didn't.

Rolls

Normal Attack
1d100 (13) + 10 + 10 = 33
33 damage
Martial Arts | Pete Simpson | Pete's First Atack

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[Lune]

3 / 3

This is it. The man has launched an attack right after introducing himself. Moonsong stood still, trying to gauge his speed and strength. Upon noticing that he was going as silly as touching her hair, she promptly puffed up and parried his hand with the blunt part of one of her floating greatswords. She just saved herself from embarrassment and emotional damage.

What the fuck is this man doing?

With @Pete Simpson's face now in striking range, she delivered a full-motion, star-powered backhand slap right towards his face. Looks like he's more interested in playing around rather than sparring.

"Name's Moonsong. Write that down, and you better take me seriously, pretty boy. Because if you don't—"

I just wanna make you scream.

She whispered another tune, this time causing all four greatswords to now point towards Pete, vibrating. Her eyes flared, a sinister grin painted wide on her face.

"—You might not get that dinner. Wouldn't want that, would you?"

Rolls

Normal Attack
1d100 (91) + 10 + 5 = 106
106 damage

Arcanamancy | Moonsong | Moonsong Defends Against 33

Normal Attack
1d100 (67) + 10 + 5 = 82
82 damage

Arcanamancy | Moonsong | Slap attack against Pete

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[Chrys]

2 / 3

"Whoa," Pete finally noticed the floating weapons around them, instinctively pulling his hand back to him when it got parried like he was a filthy casual, which he was, of course. He took his moment staring at them, wondering what they were, trying to gauge how powerful and what sorcery they were, but all were in futility. Pete had no damned idea. He didn't even have the faintest clue. He wasn't a master of the mystic arts. His only source of power barely even considered him worth their time. "What are those things?"

That backhand forced him back to the present situation, though. Violently. Without even missing a beat. Pete's eyes widened in surprise as he turned his attention back to @Moonsong, but instead of feeling fear or fury, he felt something else, something pure and inappropriate at the same time. What she had whispered didn't help. Pete's eyes were too wide at this point to miss their movement. She's controlling them with her lips?

Without saying anything, he replied with another attack. This time, his thought process was genius. Or at least he thought it was. If Moonsong—"Lovely name, by the way!"—controlled her weapons with her mouth, then all he had to do was make sure she wouldn't be able to use them, right? Wrong. A big HR Disciplinary Action kind of Wrong.

But Pete was not that smart, and in the heat of the moment, with his mind too focused on wanting to simply win this fight and get that free dinner, he did the unthinkable: He attacked with his mouth. It's still technically Martial Arts, right? Jackie Chan probably did it once or twice in his movies. It's fine. It's not, Pete, you're embarrassing yourself.

Rolls

Normal Attack
1d100 (4) + 10 + 10 = 24
24 damage
Martial Arts | Pete Simpson | Defending against that 82 Slap

Normal Attack
1d100 (45) + 10 + 10 = 65
65 damage
Martial Arts | Pete Simpson | 2nd ATK Attempt

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[Lune]

2 / 3

All four greatswords were ready to attack, except that @Pete Simpson suddenly closed the distance where it's not safe to attack with massive weapons. This time his face was aiming for.. hers? It's getting close, getting close...

Bracing for the unexpected attack(?), Moonsong raised her head, causing Pete to headbutt right into her jaw instead. She stumbled a few feet back before calling back one of her greatswords to catch her. Looks like she bit her tongue a bit during that collision.

"You. Pervert. I'm going to tell that one to HR."

The girl looked seriously pissed, as the whispering is a bit louder now, almost clearly audible to the others.

Look up in the sky, it's a bird, it's a plane

Two more greatswords fell from the sky, adding up to six now. All of them are constantly spinning around her.

"For that attempt... I might have to cut off your mouth. Don't worry, it'll heal back later."

She slowly walks forwards as the blade circles around her like a buzzsaw.

Rolls

Normal Attack
1d100 (48) + 10 + 5 = 63
63 damage

Arcanamancy | Moonsong | Defense against Pete's HR disaster

Normal Attack
1d100 (80) + 10 + 5 = 95
95 damage

Arcanamancy | Moonsong | Rage attack against Pete

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[Chrys]

1 / 3

Oh, no! Pete panicked when he felt @Moonsong's jaw make contact with his forehead. It was the absolute worst case scenario. Well, second worst since he was about to get skewered by her magical flying blades. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt your pretty mouth!" Maybe those words were better off in his head.

"Wait, no, I'm not a pervert!" Pete tried his best to smooth his relations with the lovely woman, even though there were no relations to begin with, except maybe hatred by the looks of her spinning swords and that furious glare. "I'm a gentleman!" It didn't help that his attempt to nullify her mouth magic didn't work since she was already mouthing more magic with her very luscious lips. Focus, Pete! Don't let yourself get distracted by her juiciness!

But he did. Pete could only raise his hands in defense against the makeshift shredder about to turn him into last week's confidential report when his Rings of Saturnine glowed purple and a blast of wind tried to save him. Unfortunately, a sword still managed to go through, cutting a pretty decent gash on Pete's shoulder. He winced in pain as he took one good look at it. At least it's not my mouth.

"All right, I really don't want to do this," Pete braced himself, praying to either lesser goddess through his rings to grant him salvation and maybe even victory since he really wants that free dinner. And the girl! Don't forget the girl! This would be my first date since three years! HELP ME, BEAUTIFUL GODDESS OF THINE RING! "But you've left me no choice!"

Pete pointed his rings at Moonsong and took a big gulp of air. Would Baal just friggin' shoot lightning at her like a psycho? He hoped not. That would be make for a terrible first date. Fortunately for Pete, the other goddess responded and brought forth from the Nature Ring of Buer...a massive bouquet of roses that would definitely pack a punch catapulted at that speed. Oh, hey, a bouquet! Oh, no, it's aiming straight for her face! Probably had thorns, too.

Rolls

Normal Attack
1d100 (34) + 10 + 10 = 54
54 damage
Aeromancy | Pete Simpson | Defense Against Furious GF's 95

Normal Attack
1d100 (88) + 10 + 10 = 108
108 damage
Nature Magic | Pete Simpson | Attacking Waifu With Rose Bouquet

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[Lune]

1 / 3

It seems that finally her opponent began to take her seriously, using the power of the rings™ to defend himself from the swords. Not that it matters, since one got through the blast and delivered a cut. Not lethal, obviously, because this was a 'friendly' match.

"Now you take me seriously, huh?" She braced as Pete pointed his rings at her, prepping what seemed to be a massive combination blast. "Come at me." Her greatswords now spin in front of her, enabling her to block anything that might harm her.

Instead, what comes was a massive bouquet, of roses. The spinning blades cut through the roses like a blender, flinging hundreds and thousands of thorns into her, some of which made cuts to her lips and arms. "Ouch." She wiped a drop of blood off her lips. Enough is enough.

"Peter, Son of Simp. Time to end this." With red lips, she loudly commanded the blades.

Let's kill this love.

Five blades converge, aiming to capture @Pete Simpson with the blunt edges, causing a big CLANG sound as they converge together. Moonsong grabbed one of the greatswords herself and was ready to swing it at his neck, only to stop a few centimeters before actually cutting it.

"I win."

The greatswords vanish. "I would have killed you for the embarrassment, but I would like to watch you eat that disgusting mushroom arm. Also now you owe me a dinn—"

Wait.

"What. the. actual fuck." She realized this fight was rigged from the start.

Rolls

Normal Attack
1d100 (66) + 10 + 5 = 81
81 damage

Arcanamancy | Moonsong | Defending against Pete's bouquet

Normal Attack
1d100 (88) + 10 + 5 = 103
103 damage

Arcanamancy | Moonsong | Kill Pete for his insolence pls

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[Chrys]

0 / 3

"Oh, gods, are you all right?" Pete was genuinely concerned, even though @Moonsong was still on a rampage. The last thing he wanted was to see her bleed, even though this was a fight. Still, he found himself fixated on her now rosy lips, as if all that blood only served to make them look so good. What an idiot, eh? "Not your lips! Here, let me fix that with my own."

Pete started puckering his lips when he faintly heard the word love from her. "Oh, well, I mean, I love y—" He cut himself off at the sight of her floating magic swords doing something. It was a sight to behold actually. If only they weren't trying to end him.

He winced, closing his eyes instinctively, when she swung that blade of hers, only opening one of them when she reiterated her victory. Pete heaved a sigh of relief, realizing his neck was still there. "That's a weird kink, Moonsong, but for you, I'll do anything. I know this great tavern at Stokbon. You, me, a couple of steaks and drinks after this whole thing's done and over?"

Pete gave his conqueror an awkward grin, half-embarrassed at his lost, half-excited that he'd still get to spend some time with her. Win-win! Then the last part dawned on him.

"Wait, what mushroom thing?"

Rolls

Normal Attack
1d100 (79) + 10 + 10 = 99
99 damage
Aeromancy | Pete Simpson | Trying to Outlive Moonsong

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[Lune]

1 / 3

(-99 mental health point from emotional damage)

She frowned, cursing herself for not seeing this one coming.

Moonsong facepalmed, exhaling deeply. (This girl really likes exhaling, huh). "You know, if you really wanted dinner or something, you could've just asked." She shrugged. "Never thought of that? Really?"

"Anyway." She opened her palm UI. "Promise is a promise. I might be cold, but I'm not a bastard."

Notice

Moonsong has shared her contact details with you.

"Just message me after this is all over, assuming both of us don't die four times in this expedition." She looked at the side of the field, over the audience where the big mushroom arm is sitting. "But for now..." The girl pointed to the potentially career-ending piece of myconid meat. "You'll gotta eat that. Part of the deal." She wiped off the blood to the side of her lips, forming a Glasgow smile while she grins sinisterly.

"Then, I'll take my win and leave. Survive, Peter, Son of Simp. You'll have that dinner you want." Moonsong turned back and walked slowly in a cool manner. But on the inside? She's dead several times inside.

Winning has never felt so miserable. At least @Pete Simpson is going to eat an arm. We'll see.

 

[Chrys]

0 / 3

In the mood for some poisonous good food

"What do you mean? You challenged me!" Pete protested that logic but at the same time accepted the truth of his stupidity. Maybe he should've just tapped out earlier on. Would've been quicker and much easier, right? Especially since he was winning either way. Dinner with @Moonsong was the prize, regardless of who was paying for it.

"Ohoho!" He laughed like a complete weirdo when he received her info, accepting it without even wasting another second. He was never able to get a girl's number in real life, so this was a victory in and of itself. If he could, he would've celebrated his victory maniacally. But this wasn't the time and place for it. Right now, and right here, Pete realized that there was still something left to do: nom some shrom.

Turning to the arm, he gulped. It was one thing to eat raw fish, or even raw meat, but raw vegetable monster limb? He might just die before he could go on that dinner with the hottie. He approached the damned thing warily and took his sweet time before touching it and then sniffing it. With another gulp, he put it close to his mouth and inhaled deeply, trying to ready himself, only to almost puke at the idea that he was smelling some dead mushroom guy's arm. "Here goes!"

The first bite was a little chewy. The second made him realize it wasn't that bad. It tasted just like a mushroom, except a little more...meaty. He looked up, raising an eyebrow, trying his best to remember what kind of vegetable he could compare its texture with. I mean, it is a mushroom, but it's not as chewy as one. Or stringy. Turning towards Moonsong after swallowing his piece. "It's actually not that bad. Might taste better with some marmalade, though."

He gave her one final thumbs-up and just stood there, watching her walk away and admiring the view. Hehehehehe.

Rolls

Save (DC 70)
1d100 (86) + 15 = 101
Fortitude | Pete Simpson | 617FoodPoisoning

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