Complete Vintergard Not There

[Crimson Ruby]

He wasn't there.

At the time she had heard what happened, any tiredness or pain that she was feeling was simply numb. The remains of EN were all spent in an explosion of speed toward the nearest temple, she had figured out its location after a quick question.

In a glimpse of her friend list, he wasn't online, which was enough to make her heart leap. Had he logged out? Had he become UI-Locked? Had he... Been a goner? The possibility filled Ruby's thoughts with dread, enough for her to never check her friend list again, not until it finally occurred to her to open her UI again.

For a very brief moment, relief washed her body. He was still there, he was still alive. But it was when she realized her thoughts.

Still.

Did it mean at some point he just wouldn't? Just like Shane. Just like Sol.

The dread returned into her stomach, and she was quick to send a message. Quick and straightforward.

"Meet me at the Camp's outskirts."

She slipped the message before hurrying back, this time not as fast due to the lack of energy. But at the very least she would have time to get a hold of her emotions... Maybe...

@Erick Stryker

 

[Erick Stryker]

If he was supposed to feel different, he didn't.

He didn't feel any different in any physical sense whatsoever. However, he now lived with a different understanding, and because of that, everything was different.

Normal people lived their lives without dedicating themselves to understanding the things he'd witnessed. Most of them never managed to see them at all. Now that he had seen them, Erick felt called to know more. To do more. To see more.

The Paradox lay in consequence. There was an upper limit, and because he was a mortal man, it fell to an even lower threshold than the one he perceived from a great distance. But he had seen it.

You are there, it told him. It mocked him, but you will never be here.

Meet me at the Camp's outskirts.

Ruby's message was vague. It could have meant any number of things, and perhaps if he wanted to, Erick could have surmised them through magical means. He was starting to think, however, that he should not use magic for every aspect of his life.

It was as though reality had given him the opportunity to step outside its boundaries just to allow him to learn for himself. Just because you can, he recalled a quote from some old, beloved movie, doesn't mean that you should.

The pain was gone, lost with the first of his three lives, yet his head was still throbbing. He couldnt feel soreness, or an ache, or any other negative sensation. It just felt like he was experiencing things... differently than he had been before.

He found the edge of camp and leaned against its outer wall, resting.

Soon enough, Ruby arrived.

@Crimson Ruby

 

[Crimson Ruby]

As Ruby neared the outskirts, she stopped rushing a run, slowing down to a walk. Her eyes shifted around, trying to spot the man she hoped to find while her mind was still racing just as fast as her heart was beating, with the flashes of the Red Fever appearing.

The swarm, the guillotine, the explosion. The three things that reaped so many lives, including the ones she cared for. Her walking faltered, and her teeth gritted while her Primal Aura throbbed, just as soon as she noticed a familiar blue by the corner of her sight.

She turned to face it, seeing Erick laying against a wall. She paused for a moment, another wash of relief. He was in one piece, he was truly alive.

Yet--

"Erick." She said, even if she was too far for him to listen her properly.

She took a step forward, then a second, with her eyes glowing in a negative hue as she focused them on his face, and then his chest.

❰ Deathwatch ❱

He had revived recently. A bad new. His soul was tainted, by something Ruby couldn't know- Worse news.

"Erick." Her eyes returned to normal as she stomped a third step toward him, switching to a run-walking toward him. "Erick. Was that why you ran away from me? Was that why you parted ways with me in that battle, to die?" Ruby breathed a question erratically, suddenly rushing toward him, with her fists clenching as she took one last stomp when she approached enough.

"How many times... How many times did you die, Erick?!" Ruby glared, nearly cornering him, as her rage fainted, being overtaken by a dooming worry. "... Who I am looking at... Is it still you?" Or was him just a virtual ghost at this point?

@Erick Stryker

 

[Erick Stryker]

The images he'd seen remained with him, haunting. Soulless and mechanical, the robotic Ruby who held out her hand toward him beckoned to Erick with a monotone to join her in painless perfection. Another empty-eyed iteration had already lost her life, and the thought of either eventuality brought a wave of nausea over him.

None of those vast infinities were worth holding back for. If he'd compromised even a little, any one of them could have come to pass. He'd bartered with his life, and he'd won this version of events.

But no one else would ever see what he had.

Erick. Was that why you ran away from me? Was that why you parted ways with me in that battle, to die?

Nothing was ever so simple, but to an inconsolable woman who had just seen something horrible, how would you tell them that? You don't know what I saw?

How many times... How many times did you die, Erick?!

How many had he died? In a million reflections, only a handful of versions of himself were still standing in those final moments. Now, only one of him had anything to show for it.

Who I am looking at... Is it still you?

Her question stung harder than any slap could, and not because of any amount of pain. Now, having seen what he had, having lived life up to this point as he had, could he honestly say he had ever been "himself?" What did that even mean? Was the self, in fact, just some social construct imposed by the dystopic notion of modern society?

A million reflections of himself made him question that.

Yet in the moments before rebirth, he was given his answer. Hundreds of them cried out about the injustice of his death when he among all of them was able to find that perfect outcome. A score of them pleaded with him to cleave against the grain and damn all of the others to their fate. Only he could have made the decision that he had.

Only Erick Stryker.

"Of course it's me," he said, managing to smile against all odds. Only Erick could find a smile even in the worst situations. "Its okay, Ruby," he assured her.

"I'm alive."

@Crimson Ruby

 

[Crimson Ruby]

Ruby couldn't know what was behind that face, making her clench her fist so tightly her nails sank on her skin. Her teeth gritted, she wanted to yell at him so much, she wanted to scold to shake him as hard as she could. She wanted to rush to his house, wherever it was, and unplug his device for good.

But she held everything in her throat, forcing another step closer, looking up at his eyes and reaching for his shoulders, gripping them firmly.

"Why?" She asked.

"Why did you do this? Why you got yourself killed?" Ruby muttered. "Did you forget what this game is..?" Her eyes shimmered with the thin layer of tears forming on them.

The words from Fina echoed in her mind. Some of Erick's as well, at that day they shared drinks. "This isn't a joke, Erick! This isn't a game!" Ruby squeezed his shoulders.

"If I lose you here, I will lose you for good!" It came out desperated. And it was, albeit very selfish.

@Erick Stryker

 

[Erick Stryker]

Why?

The burning question, a concept that plagued the minds of countless terminated renditions of him. The unfairness that any one of them could be where he is, and yet, they never would be. Now that sentiment crystallized, and it took on a Ruby hue. It was as if the woman had grabbed the indignation right out of the aether and made it her own.

Why?

When those other voices asked why he did it, they were filled with animosity. With anger, contempt, even outright enmity. That was the difference between those myriad versions of himself and this small, two tailed woman. Her tears manifested, and he knew he owed her a better answer than because I had to.

Ruby was shaking him, but that wasn't what he felt. He saw something else overlapping that, something that numbed him out and skewed his perception. When he looked at Ruby, she was hitting him. He felt the burning pain in his cheek, a ghost pain, something that existed only in his mind.

His hand absently moved toward that cheek, dazed.

What the...

In one moment, he saw violence. In the next, when he snapped back, he saw tears. Erick held the cheek, still acutely aware of the phantom stinging, and looked down at her. Had she used some kind of illusive magic to create that effect...?

If I lose you here, I will lose you for good!

It was a point he could not argue, because it came from such a guttural and deep place that he had never expected or seen from Ruby before. It was a sentiment he could hardly process, still stunned and shell-shocked from death, a superheated inferno that simply erased him with almost no pain at all. Yet somehow, staring into infinity, he found an answer to give.

Not an apology, perhaps, but an answer.

"Ten thousand times I watched that machine level the camp," he spoke calmly, in the most reasonable and level voice she had ever heard come from Erick. "In every single one of them, no one survived. When the timelines converged, I saw two outcomes. One was the same as all the others," he told her, "and in the other, only I had to die. Out of ten thousand and one possible futures, I found the one where everybody sees tomorrow."

He reached up and placed a hand on her head, between her ears.

"I'll never be convinced that I didn't make the right choice," he smiled, finally looking her in the eyes. She was here right now, she was alive because of that decision. "You can be angry, you have every right. Hate me if you want. You're here. That's all the proof I need."

@Crimson Ruby

 

[Crimson Ruby]

Ruby didn't understand Erick's gestures to his own cheek, especially when neither her hands or lips moved any inch toward it. However, her mind and senses were blinded and deafened by the fear she was feeling, crawling deep in her chest and making her whole focus surround Erick, his death, and what he had to say about it.

Her ears remained droopy, and her eyes remained locked to Erick's.

The tears that were forming in her eyes eventually gave away, rolling down her cheek as she listened to his words. The truth behind his actions, the reasoning as to why he decided to take such a measure.

As she felt the hand on her head, her lips pursed, looking at him as her shoulders dropped, along with her eyes and her hands released his shoulder, with her left one lingering on his chest before she finally reached for the hand on the top of her head.

She didn't know how he could see 'timelines'. His magic was sure strong, but she never expected it to be that much powerful... Still...

"Why would I hate you? I already told you I like you." She murmured, taking his hand and pulling it out of her head, raising her gaze at him again.

"I don't care if a hundred, a thousand, a million timelines have everyone dying," Ruby said.

"If you pick up one I can't see you again. I won't accept it." Her gaze remained firm.

"If you can't find a timeline that does it..." She tightened the hold of his hand. "... Create one. I won't listen to excuses."

@Erick Stryker

 

[Erick Stryker]

Erick visibly grimaced at the insinuation he ought to attempt to further manipulate the sands of time. His death, not hours past, had humbled him. He had learned what it meant to interfere in things not intended for mortal minds.

Now this girl, this sweet and yet unreasonable girl was asking for him to perform an even greater miracle. And not for noble reasons, but because she did not want to lose him. Erick found himself warmer inside when he thought about the implications of such words.

She'd removed his hand from her head, as if to say 'I'm not a child.' When she squeezed it, her could feel her begging him to look at her and hear her words as a woman grown. Where had this sentiment come from? Had it been there all along?

Erick blinked slowly.

"I'm not that powerful," he told her in a quieter voice. "I cheated death by finding a fate that eluded thousands of other versions of myself. That doesn't make me strong. If anything, it makes me extremely lucky."

He frowned, his voice taking a sterner edge. "But luck can only avert the inevitable for so long before fate finds a way to catch up." He squeezed her hand back. "I wont go charging headlong toward that moment," he said, "but I can't promise that it wont come. If I'm given a choice to make between myself and the lives of those around me, its not even a choice in my eyes, Ruby," Erick reached up with his other hand and took her by the cheek, holding her gaze level with his own so that she could not look away.

"We all have to make peace with death eventually," he said. "It doesn’t need to be today, tomorrow, or even in the near future, but Ruby, I've made that peace. One day, you will too."

A younger Jimmy might have handled that situation very differently. A happier, less broken version of himself that still had a reason to live outside of this world- but that version of himself was lost.

...which didn't stop him from thinking about it.

What would Ruby have said if he'd promised to live for her?

Now, he might never know.

@Crimson Ruby

 

[Crimson Ruby]

Ruby listened to Erick's words, each of them weighting more and more in her mind. Was he really that ready to just end his life? Making peace with death was one thing, a very hard thing, but to accept death as some sort of tool to save others? Ruby's expressions faltered again.

Her feelings, cornered. Her worries, confirmed. She wished to slap some sense into that man. She disliked him for it so much... But she liked him just as much for it.

A hand reached for the one on her cheek, holding it softly.

"I am not sure why you are trying to go so far for them." Ruby muttered, suppressing the urge to low her gaze. She wanted to look at him. "You don't need to save everyone... But..." She pursed her lips, wondering for a moment.

"If you are going to do this, I want to be with you." She wanted to look at him, after all. "I can't promise to die for others. I have a sister to take care of, but... I don't want you to be alone. Or to do all of it alone." Ruby offered a smile, a bittersweet one.

"Maybe one person isn't strong enough to change fate by themselves, but I am sure two can do it." Ruby muttered, being a bit more hopeful than she has been in the past nightmare-ish two months.

"And even if we can't-" She paused. "I want to look at you until the very end."

@Erick Stryker

 

[Erick Stryker]

"I don't want you to die," he told her, smiling softly. "If anything, I'm thankful that you have that sense of self preservation. People to live for, people who love you, people who are proud of you. There's something to look forward to on each new day."

It wasn't apt to say that Erick wanted to die. Far from it, in fact. He wanted to find that happy ending, not just for himself, but for everyone. That was why- this time- he chose an imperfect ending.

It was the least "bad" out of all the endings he'd been shown.

"I'm thankful that you're behind me in this, Ruby," he told her, "because if you weren't, the sacrifice I just made would mean nothing."

What does it profit a man to gain the world, but lose his soul? Words he heard once from a sermon, from the Bible. He'd never been religious, but as a general pretext for how someone should live their life, that line in particular wasn't bad. If he'd saved them all, if he'd given his life, but he'd lost the bonds of friendship with Ruby...

The image of her mechanized, lifeless eyes staring at him flashed through his mind.

He faltered. Erick was second guessing his own words. If it came down to his friendship with Ruby or losing her to that monster...

The blue haired man shook his head.

"You know I've got your back," he said, holding out his hand for her to fist bump. "And I'm glad you've got mine."

Truthfully, he wasn't sure what she meant by "look at you until the very end," but it was the cryptic sort of thing someone might say after the trauma of nearly losing a friend or a loved one. He offered her the same, reassuring smile he always wore. "Who knows?" he said. "Maybe you'll see something that I can't."

@Crimson Ruby

 

[Crimson Ruby]

Ruby looked at Erick, frowning her lips as he spoke. Did he imply he didn't have any of it? She could only wonder, which was something that made her heart feel heavy, if anything. Was it really as if he didn't have anything worth to actually live on? But at the same time, he felt like he had so much worth to die on.

Maybe, just maybe she could be misunderstanding, but at the same time, she couldn't help but feel a sadness deepening in her chest.

She wanted to support it, in a side. But on another, it felt like she was pushing a situation where she would lose someone precious once again. And someone that pulled her out of the mud when she needed it. That saved her life. And that she enjoyed the company.

When a fist bump was offered, Ruby looked at it, then up at Erick. After pouring out her feelings, a first bump wasn't what she expected, and she would be lying if she said she was happy about it. Still, she wasn't going to be picky about gestures right now, and it wasn't like he was obligated to do more than that.

She needed to find a way to pull him out of there, while giving him the support he needed.

"... Yeah, I will certainly see a lot of what you can't." Ruby said, simply tapping Erick's fist, rather than returning the bump, showing a faint expression of annoyance, huffing as she crossed her arms. "You are pretty blind yourself, or you just pretend to not see or understand a lot of things."

@Erick Stryker

 

[Erick Stryker]

He looked down to where she tapped his fist, mouth ajar in apparent surprise. His confusion only grew when she said that he was blind or pretending not to see something. ". . . ?"

The conversation had gone in a direction he was uncertain of. In the past hour or so, he had nothing but jumbled, disjointed thoughts of the moments that led up to his death. He was still reeling as he tried to process the implications of that death. It was not at all unlikely that he had missed a key point in what she was saying. All of that aside, her annoyance was problematic.

"I..." Erick was good at talking to people, and he did not lack for charisma. But as a man, he had never been the one who scored big with the ladies. They didn't usually go for the scrawny best friend type. So, naturally, he ruled out any notion that she might be interested.

Which made his assumption that the fact she wanted to be supportive of his actions despite her obvious disapproval came from a place of resignation and respect all the more realistic.

Was that not the case?

I really don't understand women at all, he sighed.

He took that opportunity to shift gears. If she was angry, a few lighthearted jokes to smooth over the situation might lighten the mood! That always seemed to work well with Ruby. "...well then it's a good thing you're on board," he gave her a thumbs up and a wink. "In the meantime, I'll see about investing in some eyedrops to help out with that blindness you mentioned."

@Crimson Ruby

 

[Crimson Ruby]

He was clearly clueless, and Ruby was impressed that after all that he was. At a moment, she considered leaving it be, with his mind being probably crowded with something else... But considering what has been clouding his mind, she wondered... Selfishly... That may be what she wanted to tell and show him at this moment she felt like she could lose him at any moment, at this moment where she felt like a hurry would be necessary--

If in this moment, maybe her feelings could help him to think a bit differently.

"No eyedrop in this world or in the other one will cure your blindness," Ruby said with another huff, crossing her arms for a moment, frowning and side-glancing at Erick with swaying tails before she turned to face him once again.

She reached for the collar of his shirt, pulling him close abruptly, nearing her face to his down to a point their breath could brush each other's faces, and their lips barely touched. Close and yet, not quite there, interrupting before she forced something onto him.

"I tell and you are too deaf, I show and you are too blind. What other senses I will need to use for you to understand?" She said, with her voice vibrating on his lips.

"Tact?" Their noses touched as she lowered her face near his neck. "Smell?" She looked up, not moving her face as she leaned away to look at his eyes.

"Taste..?" She tilted her head. "... Maybe I need to use a Sixth sense to make it clearer?" Her ears perked up as she stared at Erick, with her Primal Aura giving him an instinctive message, one that would ran through his heart and tingle his mind to give its meaning, while she remained quiet, looking at him with an unaverting gaze.

@Erick Stryker

 

[Erick Stryker]

Like a cornered animal, Erick's eyes went wide. He could see many things with his power, but the intentions of others were not made plain simply by watching them. Ruby eliminated the guessing game with a sudden and forceful display. Their noses touched. She pulled closer.

He could smell her, more so than he ever had. She was unique, sweet and yet ferocious as she laid it all out in a way that even the densest of men could not mistake her.

Oh.

Their lips were so close together at several points, but never fully touched. Her voice came low, rapsy, and it reverberated from his teeth down into his throat. To say that this woman was more direct than any he'd known would have been an understatement.

The fiery sentiment that pulsed through his thoughts when she manifested her emotions in his Mind's Eye came intrusive, as it had during combat the first time they met. Only now, instead of the urge to fight or kill...

Erick reached up and took her- not quite gently, yet not forcefully enough to cause alarm- by the nape of the neck. "Subtle like a .50 cal," he managed to say in a cracking, quiet voice. She had pulled him here and put him in this position, and then, she had projected these sudden and powerful feelings of desire onto him.

If she wanted to escape what came next, she would have to fight against a monster of her own creation.

Their lips touched- none too gently at that- and he pulled her into his embrace. Whether or not he had intended to give himself over to those emotions no longer mattered. Like an aphrodisiac, her emotions overlapped his and dominated them. As he kissed her with the fury she had imbued him with, Erick slowly began to slip back toward his own, rational thoughts.

And finally, he broke free.

He would be lying if he had said there wasn't a part of him that wanted it. It was made so much easier for her by the fact that he had thought about it, more than once. However, he'd convinced himself it would never happen. Now that it had, he struggled to fully process the events that led him to this moment.

"...but," he said at last, breathless, "I feel like we might be taking it too fast," he said as he looked back at her, gasping. "That kind of commitment isn't something you just jump into without even knowing... my real name, or what I look like, or any number of things we haven't really talked about yet."

He sucked on his bottom lip, savoring the taste of her that lingered there. Erick hated being overly rational, and he hated that he wanted to be cautious. Internally, he was kicking himself for the things he was saying.

But he didn't want this woman to just be some kind of sexual conquest, a mistake made in passing because emotions ran high.

"...does that make sense?"

@Crimson Ruby

 

[Crimson Ruby]

There was a hint of suspense for Ruby. Had she pushed things too suddenly? She ended up acting on emotions due to the circumstances, and maybe it wasn't the best timing-

However, as soon as he held her firmly, and he approached her himself, her ears perked up when their lips touched, along with her two tails that soon swayed and lowered as she returned the kiss with the same fiery fury as him. It spoke more than all the senses she had mentioned before, but perhaps it was because it involved all of them at the same time.

Her heart raced, and she held onto him until their lips parted, with an immediate yet gentle pull for breath escaping from her mouth when she could finally look at his eyes again.

The 'but' froze her heart, but the rest of his words calmed and warmed it once again. Her face grew red, knowing she may have gone too far too quickly, but it was already done.

"It does make sense." Ruby nodded. "Sorry, it was just how quick it happened to me." She admitted.

"But I don't need to know how do you look. Nor your real name. Those are things that can be solved easily." Ruby said, looking at Erick and tilting her head as she wondered what were the 'number of things' they haven't talked.

"But what I know about who you are as a person is enough to... Well... I think I already made it clear." Ruby said with a fond smile, and a rosy hue across her face, with it averting in a sheepish manner.

"My name is Yuhan." She said. "Take away the crimson hair for a pitch black one, get rid of cat ears..." Ruby peeked at him. "Of course, the tails too. And that's who I am."

@Erick Stryker

 

[Erick Stryker]

He listened carefully to her words. He owed her that much consideration. She had been very, almost brazenly open with her feelings, and an honest answer was the only recourse. Even if it was 'I need time to think.'

It wasn't that this time, though.

"Oh, I'm not doubting your taste in men or anything like that," he explained, "or saying that you're making a mistake. Not by a long shot."

When she gave her name, he repeated in quietly to himself. His lips moved as he mouthed it, tried it out, acclimated himself to it. This person was "Yuhan." She was still Ruby, but she was taking a new shape: one grounded in reality.

"I'm..." he hesitated. He always hesitated when it came to this kind of thing. Wasn't it frowned upon to share these things in online games? Especially with VRSA being a thing?

"I'm Jim," he said at last. As he did, he opened the menu and started typing up a message. When he sent it, the words popped up in her UI where no one else could hear them, or see unless she wasn't being careful.

Spoiler

My Email is ××××××@××××××.×××. You can contact me when we log out and we can set up a time to talk. I'll share my contact info with you that way, because you never know who's listening here."

@Crimson Ruby

 

[Crimson Ruby]

Ruby chuckled quietly when he tried to reassure her, and Ruby shook her head. "No, Mr. Good Taste Man. I just mean the lack of personal info was never an obstacle to me..." She shrugged slightly, swaying her tails and looking at him as he revealed his name.

She noticed his more subtle approach, making her rub her neck as she looked around, especially after she opened her UI and finished reading the message.

"Jim." Ruby muttered quietly, starting to type a reply of her own, sometimes peeking up at his eyes before she gave one last gesture to her UI.

Spoiler: Message

"Mine is crimsonruby@email.com. I know what you are thinking, but at the time, four years ago, I simply used my artistic name without thinking too much about it."

When her message was sent, she averted her face for a moment, pursing her lips and with an embarrassed expression plastering on her face. Not because they were taking steps to exchange personal information, but rather because she felt stupid as soon as she reminded herself of her lack of awareness.

@Erick Stryker