18+ Flicker

[Jin]

He ripped the VR headset off and discarded it beside him on the bed. The usual withdrawal from a lengthy dive was immediately apparent- his vision was blacked out, slowly seeping back in from the middle outward. Theo fixed his gaze on the ceiling and muttered discontentedly to himself, jogging his ears with both index fingers to quicken the return of his hearing. Shifting from augmented reality back to standard was a chore he would not miss.

"...odore?" His mother's familiar voice was muffled, but he recognized it nonetheless. "Theodore, are you alright? Answer me!"

"I'm fine!" he called out sharply, but his voice was hoarse, like being strangled.

"You haven't come out in days! I hate it when you do this, Theo, you've been doing it so much lately and I'm really worried. Do I need to talk to the social worker about getting you in with a therapist?"`

"Ma, I said I'm fine," he repeated himself, hitting his chest with a fist to dislodge the evident buildup of phlegm. Probably a bacterial infection, sleeplike state, no hydration. He placed a hand to his forehead and frowned. "Might need to see a doctor though, I think I've got Bronchitis."

"You need to drink some water," she called, grabbing the door handle and shaking it. "Come on, I don't know why you always lock the door. I haven't heard from you in days. What have you been doing in there? Are you depressed?"

He fell backward onto his pillow, closed his eyes, and his thoughts drifted back.

"I did it alone. I've always done it alone. And you won't be the one to stop me, either,"

His lips split into a satisfied, wild grin. "Not at all," he replied after a moment of silence. "In fact, I feel more alive than I ever have."

"I'm calling the doctor to get you an appointment as soon as possible," she said. "In the meantime, I'll go grab you a glass of water. You really should go out and see some friends, Theo. I'm worried about you."

"I don't have any friends," he answered.

"How would Nico or Ari feel if they heard you say that?"

"I really don't care."

"I'm going to call them to come over and get you out of your room."

"Don't you dare."

 

[Yugam]

Pulling off the headset the first thing Ari felt was fatigue. How long had he been stuck in game? Thankfully Ari had requested the weekend off, and despite how hungry he was, he doubted it had been any longer than that. Hopefully he was right and still had a job.

Shower and then food and then sleep. That was a good plan for now.

Ari's whole body creaked as he got out of his bed, having not moved it in so long. But it still obeyed him as he moved towards his bedroom door and stepped out and peaked his head around to confirm that Nico was indeed moving around, released from their shared purgatory as well. Good.

Going back into his room, Ari picked up his phone and sent a quick message to Valeria confirming she got out okay as well before grabbing a change of clothes and heading towards the bathroom. Just as he closed the door behind him, his phone rang.

Theo's mom? Ari swiped to answer the call and lifted the phone to his ear. "Hello?...Yeah, I'll be there in a bit...Don't mention it, ma'am."

​

"Yo, I brought food," Ari called, knocking on the door some time later. His foot tapped on the floor impatiently as he waited for Theo to answer. "C'mon dude, this stuff ain't gonna eat itself." And he'd brought more than enough food to feed two starving young men.

@Jin

 

[Jin]

He groaned reluctantly at the sound of a human voice other than his mother's at the door. His original plan had been to sleep and take a shower before diving once more, but this elicited a loud, unexpected growl from his stomach that made Theo hastily- albeit begrudgingly- reconsider. "Yeah, okay, I'm coming," he muttered, throwing off the covers and trudging his way toward the locked door. With a grunt, he swung it open and flopped back onto the bed.

"Come on in," he made a gesture to wave the other man along, one of the few people he didn't necessarily feel the need to keep out of his room as a rule. Ari never dug through things he shouldn't or asked questions that Theo didn't want to answer. Unlike some people.

"Well well," he said as he propped his back up against the wall and sat with his hands neatly in his lap, indian style. "I figured you'd be tired, or on the first bus to visit your girlfriend after everything. I didn't think my mom would actually call you. Sorry for the inconvenience."

@Yugam

 

[Yugam]

Ari had been about to pound on the door once more when Theo's voice finally came through to the other side, muffled but audible. The door swung open, and with Theo's permission, Ari stepped inside, before closing the door behind him.

"I figured you'd be tired, or on the first bus to visit your girlfriend after everything."
"Yeah, well duty calls."
"...Sorry for the inconvenience."
"Don't worry about it," Ari replied, tossing the other man one of the bags of food. "Whoppers and fries," he informed him before setting the carton of drinks to the side.

"You're still around, so I'm guessing you didn't eat too many deaths. Any at all?" Ari asked as he settled himself and began to open his own bag, popping a fry into his mouth. It wouldn't be a surprise if Jin had met an unfortunate end at least once in the battle. No matter the rank, everyone had suffered. Many hadn't left the field.

@Jin

 

[Jin]

"Hell yeah," Theo sounded triumphant as he caught the bag and tore into it like a hungry alley cat. The smell of fresh hot French fries blasted his nostrils and he could hear his stomach making almost inhuman sounds. With zero regard for how hot the golden spuds were, he grabbed a handful and scarfed them down. "I swear, good food is the only thing I miss about this world when I'm diving."

"You're still around, so I'm guessing you didn't eat too many deaths. Any at all?"

Theo glanced up at the other man, chewing through the mouthful he had taken and gulping it down in one go. If he went any faster, he might choke. Luckily, he grabbed a bottle of water from beside his bed and despite the nearly three day old taste and relative warmth of the contents, he managed to take another breath moments later. "None," he answered. "Much to my chagrin, just went it seemed to get truly exciting, the sensation went flat moments later."

The reality was that he'd wanted to stand at death's door and knock. He wanted to face a challenge that made his blood run cold and even caused him to panic or feel fear. Nothing seemed to scratch that itch. Curious that Ari asked such a question. Perhaps he had been luckier?

"I take it you had your own, differential experience on the matter?" he asked. "Best be careful if so. That would make two."

He didn't want to seem ungrateful as he unwrapped the burger, so he managed to phrase his sentence in such a way that he almost sounds compassionate.

Almost.

@Yugam

 

[Yugam]

"Hell yeah," Theo exclaimed excitedly before tearing into his food like a rabid dog.
"You're welcome," Ari said with a roll of his eyes as he too began to dig into his food, grabbing one of the burgers.

"Remind me to take you to some of the good restaurants in Arcia if you ever catch your third," the man said between a chuckle and a full mouth. That world would suffer more with a hangry Jin than it would if he was satisfied. Well, satisfied stomach-wise at least.

"Much to my chagrin, just went it seemed to get truly exciting, the sensation went flat moments later." It was a strange thing to have in common with the other man. The exhilaration of combat, the rush of adrenaline. It was a drug, euphoric in it's own intoxicating way. And even if Yugam did not show it in the field of battle, he relished in it just as much as Jin did. Jin's eagerness to experience death, though, was where the two parted ways.

"Almost did," Ari admitted, before somehow stuffing the last half of his first burger into his mouth and reaching over for the two sodas. Ari freed them both from the carton and handed one to Jin while sipping on the other.

He swallowed before speaking again. "Had some people backing me up. Not that I deserved that kind of help." Vague, clouded memories of rage and desperation flooded back in brief images. "What do you think of Szofrit?" Ari asked, quickly shifting the subject. "I mean, half the Starcalled want her dead, not to mention every Lander and their grandmother."

@Jin

 

[Jin]

Almost did.

"Horseshoes and hand grenades," Theo joked, citing an old maxim that held morbidly true. "Looks like you beat the Reaper, this time."

There was a pause while both men polished off their burgers, then Ari passed him a pop. With a swig, he considered what it meant to have people backing him up. There were people who kept him out of alive simply out of necessity, but he couldn't really read into it and call that camaraderie. It was different when Ari talked about it. He genuinely spoke like he felt connected to the other people, and more, showed consideration and humility.

Theo found himself staring blankly at the floor when he considered those feelings, wholly foreign to him. He was only able to discern their nature because he'd learned about them in school. He couldn't think of a time when he'd ever felt compassion, given or received.

People were trash. That was his reality. There wasn't much hope for it to change inside Terrasphere.

What do you think of Szofrit?

The other man asked what had been the most compelling question during the encounter. Did she deserve to live, or to die? A smile crept along his lips. Ari was still conflicted, even after a decision had been reached.

How many of them had seemed certain of themselves, and adamant in their decision?

I mean, half the Starcalled want her dead, not to mention every Lander and their grandmother.

"Wouldn't you want her dead if she slaughtered your friends and loved ones in droves?" he asked rhetorically. "The Playerbase doesn't think in nuance. Its a hivemind of gamers looking for the best and most heroic outcome, whether that means feeling heroic and doing what they consider to be 'the right thing,' or looking for an ending where no one dies. Everyone trying to play the hero, or treat it as an experience that isn't inherently human."

He took another sip of his cola and considered his next words for a moment. "The most compelling arguments I've heard dealt with finding a cure for dissonance or seeking the greater evil that Szofrit hinted at. The reality is that those ideals are glib. What are the chances that Szofrit will willfully cooperate with us? Decidedly low, obviously; and what are the chances that we will be able to break down her highly advanced security protocols? Also incredibly low, considering she was able to hack and control the minds of actual Players, and cause them to wreak devastation."

He waved a hand. "All of that is to say that Astorea and those people who made the decision to spare her life are playing a most dangerous game; however, I am not averse to it. My stance ever remains that no one was able to give me a good argument, and so, I stuck with my decision that she ought to die. Alas, as with all worlds, the tyranny of the majority won out."

He placed the drink in his lap and leaned back, reclining against the wall. "But far be it for me to be bitter, on the contrary, this outcome is far more interesting. We get to watch them struggle and split apart at the seams over a decision that the Players ultimately got to make without their consent or informed opinion. I do wonder how long we can go before no one in Arcia is willing to tolerate our existence." He closed his eyes, still smiling.

"Szofrit was never the problem at all," he revealed, "because any obstacle can be overcome with a combined effort. Such is the nature of human ingenuity, and the origin of civilization. She represents a point at which cooperation and bonds were tested, strained, and inevitably fell to pieces. And she will not be the last such test."

The implications of his words revealed that Theo genuinely had no interest in the struggle itself, its actual outcome, or even where he stood in all of it.

He just wanted to watch.

@Yugam

 

[Yugam]

"This time," Ari agreed. They both knew that that fact was subject to change at any moment. Just as it was in the real world. Out here, you might be crossing the street and a drunk driver hits you. In there, maybe a stray arrow, or a spell gone awry. There were countless ways to die, and none more spectacular than the next when it came down to it. Dead was dead. Just one more tally counted towards the eternal void, or whatever you believed came afterwards.

"Wouldn't you want her dead if she slaughtered your friends and loved ones in droves?" Theo responded to the question of the hour. Rhetorical in nature, but Ari answered anyways. "What I want, and what produces results are two different things," Ari said. For all he cared, they could have stuck her head on a pike. God knew that that was what Nico wanted. All Ari cared about was...

"The Playerbase doesn't think in nuance." There was no denying that. Even when the stakes were real, something in almost every single gamer's little lizard (monkey was too generous) brains wanted to be a troll, or some trumped up hero. Even Ari, in some form or fashion. But what the man hadn't considered was exactly what Theo had said.

What were the chances of the Starcalled actually breaking Szofrit? Extracting information from her. Somehow, that variable had never factored into the equation for the man, a gross oversight, despite it's apparent obviousness as Theo stated.

Ari was silent for a moment, lips pursed around his straw, despite not even sucking on it. He was lost in thought, considering each and everyone of Theo's words. Despite his apparent lack of care in what actually happened, he was extraordinarily perceptive. He always had been, though perhaps he sometimes lacked a bit of self-awareness.

"You're more like Jin than you realize," Ari finally said, no more than a passing comment. "I guess the only thing we can do now is wait and see if anyone manages to get anything out of her," the man said with a sigh, sinking into his chair a little more as he set the half-drank soda to the side. "Let's say she breaks out, I'm sure you'll enjoy that, what do you expect?" Not that Ari actually expected that Theo would explain what he'd do but the man saw more than he often let on.

@Jin

 

[Jin]

You're more like Jin than you realize.

Theo regarded Ari with a quiet, thoughtful gaze as he tilted his head and considered the comment. Perhaps the notion had been ingrained by his behaviors in and outside of the game that there were differences between the two; and if that were the case, Theo and Jin both had done well until this point to carefully keep that distinction intact. That Ari correllated them at all wasn't altogether surprising- in fact, it was more surprising that it took someone this long to piece it together than anything.

I guess the only thing we can do now is wait and see if anyone manages to get anything out of her.

"My guess would be surface level data. Bits, pieces of information that hint vaguely at what we want to know," he shrugged. "Where we go from here will not likely be decided by information from Szofrit directly, but gleaned from data that was previously withheld by Astorea."

Four years was a long time after all. They weren't forthcoming with new information because they were in the midst of a war. That didn't mean they weren't privy to things beyond their borders.

They just withheld vital data in order to contain the efforts of the Starcalled to their most immediate needs. Typical.

Let's say she breaks out, I'm sure you'll enjoy that, what do you expect?

"I do so love to rumimate over the 'what ifs,' but at this point, I doubt it's an immanent threat," he noted as a pretext, "but were the MIT to fail in its already critically doubted, barely tolerated directive to contain and extract intelligence from her, it would decimate whatever trust the Astorean government has left in their organization. The people already loudly calling for their heads would become much more proactive.

But no, let's instead operate under the more likely outcome that nothing comes of her detainment. Literally nothing. From the gathering of intel right down to the promise and expectation that justice would be served. How long will they allow for MIT to just hold her without someone taking action to try her for her actions or bring Astorea to account for shielding her from just retribution? When they split from Astorea, they gave wings to their rage. For now, the kindness of this new Kingdom we know nothing about stands. But we faced Dissonance, and we allowed it to remain intact. We also know that they do not suffer even its slightest touch. How long before we become a liability?

Or for that matter, Falderen, who's Nobility despise us. Their numbers continue to grow, as do the ratio of their people who are hostile toward Starcalled."

He tapped at his chin, curious.

"I expect that we are going to become soldiers in a war that we will say we did not ask for, or want, and then play pretend that we're the righteous ones because we aim to end it."

He chuckled.

"Or something like that," he added quietly.

@Yugam

 

[Yugam]

Ari nodded. That was a grim forecast, but there wasn't really much that Ari could see as wrong in it. Not that he particularly cared one way or another. War was exciting, something that both he and Theo were in desperate search of. And if he ever tired of it, he was a Black Whistle now. With more than enough knowledge to hide away from the world until he decided to reenter it. He doubted Valeria would mind in the grand scheme of things, but truth be told, Ari never liked to leave a job half finished.

"Astor might cave," Ari suddenly considered. "He might be a king and Starcalled, but you and I both know the kind of power the masses have. It's not exactly a remote possibility that if the whole of the nation, which I am almost certain it would be very damn near close to, decided to call for her death. He might just give in to assuage everyone...Hey, do you think Magia have harddrives, or memory cores or something like that?"

@Jin