Complete ✪ Finweald Fear

[Crimson Ruby]

Ruby closed her UI just in time to reach the tavern and inn they were supposed to meet.

Cloaked, the girl tried to keep her composture, something that had become a bit easier after having a reunion with a good amount of friends that... Thankfully were still friends. For this one, in particular, she didn't have any rational reasons to think it would be any different, after all, he wasn't even part of the hell that she went through.

He didn't witness her pathetic attempt to protect her friend, he didn't witness her failure, her terrible choices. He only really witness that she didn't log in for a long while, nearly abandoning this world for good.

With a deep breath, she pushed the door open, hurrying to a corner table and asking for some drink and roasted potatoes, fish stew, and bread as soon as any waiter approached her.

Twitching her nose, she glanced around, waiting for him but still keeping her hood up for most of part, only lowering whenever she spotted him... That is, if he didn't spot and approach her first.

@Erick Styker

 

[Erick Stryker]

If Finweald were a land of high and aloof fantasy set apart from what he knew, then Astorea was definitely a more contemporary, approachable setting. Sure, it was still several centuries dated and they still functioned like a medieval society, but they did it in a way that felt almost modern. He knew from talking around with other people that Landers and Travelers lived in relative harmony here, and there they both had hands in shaping the culture and everyday life. Maybe it was the influence of other Players that made it feel almost like home?

He could see that, especially if people were trapped in this world after three deaths. People would start to long for the life they could never get back. Erick disliked that idea, in many ways. To settle into the world with that kind of mentality would inexorably link everyday life to the inevitability of death. If he sat around and thought about it for too long, he would get chills-

Too late.

Erick pulled his cloak tighter against the sudden and ephemeral, yet extreme shiver that ran along his spine. There were other things he'd heard too, from people who had seen it and from Landers who recounted the tales. Isulus, in the Tangleweaves: a deathcount that included permanent losses. Even if he hadn't seen Ruby, he could guess why she had disappeared for a length of time after that incident. She must have seen something.

Yet instead of asking about that, he resolved to be a force for positivity. If she needed a shoulder, that was one thing; but to open new wounds or reopen old ones, that could not be his approach. He had to be constant. Erick had learned that when interacting with friends who went through hard times in the real world. They liked consistency, and fled at the first sign of pain.

So, when he entered the tavern he immediately threw back his hood and made his face (and his blue hair) prominently visible. Perhaps too visible, because it earned him looks from the barkeep and many of the patrons, but that was fine. As long as Ruby could find him easily.

Erick skimmed the fringes of the room, keen for a figure drinking alone. Uncharacteristic of the woman he'd met, perhaps, but not uncharacteristic of a recently traumatized individual. He knew that better than most people. When their eyes met, she drew her hood, and he began his approach.

"Lemme guess," he smirked as he took the seat across from her, "my treat, right?"

@Crimson Ruby

 

[Crimson Ruby]

Ruby's eyes lingered on Erick's for a moment, with the ears twitching at his words while she took a moment to realize where they came from and what they referenced. It has been a while, and after everything that happened, Ruby took a bit more time than she wished she did to understand it.

When she did, however, her lips pursed and quirked up in the faintest of smiles, even if her eyes didn't reflect the same joy. "Good at keeping promises, aren't you?" She said, swaying her tail slightly, with the brief smile fading right away while she averted her face to tuck a spoon onto the stew, with her free hand gesturing for him to take a seat so they could share the table, taking the opportunity she moved her hand to catch a piece of bread and sink it on the stew to take a bite of it.

Stress sure made her hungry, and she voraciously attacked the food as if it has insulted her ancestors.

"This time it doesn't count. This is barely a nice restaurant." Ruby half shrugged, partially opening her mouth to ask how Erick was doing... But the hesitation of having the same question being returned to her made her slightly change the wording...

"What have you been doing?"

@Erick Styker

 

[Erick Stryker]

He laughed at how forward the answer came. Most people would be hesitant to comment on the plainness of a restaurant, especially while there were employees anywhere within earshot. Somehow he doubted that anyone would be spitting in their food on this occasion, however. "I think that the most important thing a person can do is make good on their word," he said, albeit not too seriously. It was something he felt strongly about, sure, but they were just having a good time.

Erick gestured for a drink, and the mead they brought back was passable at first sip. "Well, if you're saying that you don't mind going Dutch this time, I won't fight you on it," he smirked mischievously. It wasn't his taste in establishments that was coming under fire anyway.

When she asked about how he'd been, he sighed. "Lots of exploring," he admitted. "Getting to know the world, but I expect not quite as dangerously as some people." He left he hint that perhaps he knew more about the situation in Isulus than she previously thought, but he did not press the issue. "I'm trying to find a niche, I guess. Lots of people are frontline fighters, and there's a pretty healthy amount of support players. I guess, I don't know where I belong yet."

@Crimson Ruby

 

[Crimson Ruby]

Ruby peeked at him, tilting her head with a vague nod. "You are right." If one kept their word, they quickly became reliable. Maybe that was one more reason she didn't feel too worried about talking to him after her absence. She swallowed her food, ignoring any glare or stare she would receive from any worker or customer due to her straightforwardness from moments ago.

"Only this time. I can't go easy on you by letting you pay for the dinner in a cheap place." She said, trying to be playful about it while pausing and looking at Erick when he revealed his recent activities.

Exploring the world was a check, very fitting to what they did the last time they met.

The hint stung a bit, making Ruby's ear twitch and drop slightly before she forced it to perk back up. "Sometimes not going head first into danger is a better idea." She said, approving the fact he wasn't getting himself into heavily dangerous situations.

She felt silly, however. Felt like she was hiding her feelings as an elephant would hide behind a thin tree. She knew he just wasn't commenting anything due to his tact.

"Do like me. Don't belong anywhere in particular, and fill the role as it seems fit in combat." She suggested. "You are pretty capable anyway, you were very flexible during our travels."

@Erick Styker

 

[Erick Stryker]

He gave another lighthearted chuckle when she mentioned "going easy on him." "Yeah, is that right?" he smirked. "You must be the real classy type of girl who only takes four star restaurants or better. Looking for a two star Michelin chef in Astorea might be like finding a needle in a haystack, though," Erick winked at her across the table as he took another swig of his drink, still satisfied with the subtle, honeyed flavor. It wasn't a high class establishment, sure, but it reminded him of the Norse and Icelandic roots of the people who settled in Minnesota and the Dakotas, and their love of hearty drink. He stomached this far better than he did most fancy drinks.

She indicated that not rushing headlong toward danger was in fact a good idea, and he couldn't help but agree. There were times, he knew, when that wasn't a possibility. It was those times that Erick spent biding his time now in preparation for. "...yeah, I guess you're probably right," he said, "but if I never take any risks, I might never be truly ready to face a real, life threatening situation, and that just doesn't sit well with me, either."

He didn't want to undermine her struggle, but perhaps some self-reflective speech on his part might give her some peace of mind. "There's a lot of people out there who are already doing dangerous things, putting their lives at risk, living on the razor's edge and making peace with the possibility of never seeing loved ones again. I don't think they're wrong for doing that, either."

Erick looked up at her and smiled. "And I don't think the sacrifices they make are without their own value, even if those sacrifices are hard on the rest of us." He easily transitioned to speaking on her commentary about his own capabilities. "For my part, the job is to make life easier for other Players. Keep them alive. Make them more capable of doing their job better, beyond what effort they've already put in. I'm glad that you think I'm capable, it means a lot, I..."

The blue-haired youth stared into the mug of honey wine and stared into the eyes of his own reflection. "I just want to do more, I guess." He placed the drink down on the table and exhaled. "I constantly think that anything I do isn't enough."

@Crimson Ruby

 

[Crimson Ruby]

A frown crossed Ruby's face, glancing down at her food and then up at Erick while exhaling a faint chuckle. "I don't know if you noticed, but I'm eating fish stew with roasted potatoes and bread, the latter eating with my hand-" She shook the wet bread slightly for emphasis. "It isn't really classy." Ruby said, taking a bite of the bread and being quick to swallow it after a few munches.

Her hand then reached for her drink, taking a sip while considering his words and resting her mug on the table while picking up the words to reply. "Yeah, only experience can get you to make the right choices in front of the danger." Ruby's ears faintly dropped, with her gaze lingering on her food as she noticed that perhaps one of the main things that got her to fail horribly, was the lack of experience.

"Loved ones, huh..." Ruby muttered, blinking and leaning against the chair before looking up at Erick.

"If you really feel like you aren't doing enough, I really should be dragging you around more." She said, with her tone a bit more neutral, as her current expressions and behavior have been.

"Or maybe you need to be more selfish." Ruby wondered, leaning against the table to look at Erick closely. "What do you really want to achieve in here, Erick?" Her eyes remained focused for a moment, elaborating the question: "Only to support? That is what you truly want, the pleasure of making others become capable of what they usually are not? Or you want something else?" Ruby wondered, letting the question sink in before muttering.

"Not that it isn't right. But maybe you should ask yourself it is what is enough for you. If it isn't, maybe that's why you don't feel like it is enough."

@Erick Styker

 

[Erick Stryker]

"I'll have you know that there are women in Middle America who believe that Olive Garden and Red Lobster are the pinnacle of fine cuisine," Erick smirked and plucked a fork off the table, pointing it lazily in her direction. "When you grow up without much, any amount of excess starts to look like luxury. Even if its just a bowl of fish stew with some bread and potatoes." He didn't really need to give her a lesson on class warfare in America when she was living the dream firsthand, but the constant string of jokes did help to offset the more somber undertones in the conversation. She seemed at the very least to not be drowning in her sorrows. That was more than he could have hoped.

"If you really feel like you aren't doing enough, I really should be dragging you around more." She said, with her tone a bit more neutral, as her current expressions and behavior have been.

Oh, did I strike a nerve there?

"I don't object to that," he said with a shrug. If anything, the idea of having someone who wanted him around was a net positive. He could do with a more consistent routine, and steady friends.

It was what she said next that got him thinking. Did he need to be more selfish? He had a lot growing up, all things considered. A car in High School, when most kids drove their parent's family car to prom. When the neighborhood kids walked at graduation, most of them knew they'd wake up the next day with a guaranteed job on the farm. Instead of that, Jimmy had the option to go to college, or enter trade school. He'd had every opportunity to do things his way. What he hadn't done was stop to think about how that looked to everyone else, or how the people closest to him would feel.

Erick didn't think it was wrong to make decisions for oneself or set boundaries, but...

"Mmmm..." he took a sip of his drink, paused, and raised the glass silently to signal for a refill. During the silence that followed, he looked Ruby over and considered her words, and more importantly, what she might be feeling. There was no telling what type of storm was raging behind her eyes. "I believe in the importance of helping others to succeed," he explained. "I think that no single person can carry a team on their own, and no stage only has enough room for one person in the limelight. I'm not saying that I don't deserve my chance to shine, on the contrary, I think if I don't seize the opportunity, the lack of luster on my part will bring down the brightness of the overall show. Does that make sense?"

He realized the overuse of Metaphors had him at risk of sounding ridiculous, but then, she had mentioned that she performed in Chinese Opera, so he hoped that choice of words would resonate with her. "I feel like, if all I do is stand in the back, I'm not sharing an equal amount of risk. I don't want to just rely on others to stand in front of me while people are out there dying."

@Crimson Ruby

 

[Crimson Ruby]

Ruby's lips pursed for a moment at Erick's words, letting out a brief giggle and shaking her head. "Peak of cuisine is homemade food. There is no need for fine cuisine if you have that." She said, fairly confident of it. The mention of some thinking anything extra was luxury made Ruby feel a bit silly, a small reminder that there was always someone in an even worse situation than you.

A sigh escaped from her, and her spoon swayed and played around with the fishes of her stew before her ears twitched at his words once again. "I will take that you liked to nearly die sometimes in Vintergard with me." She said, taking a spoon of her stew and then going for a potato.

The references and analogies he did with the adventuring and theatre made Ruby look at him with a raising eyebrow, not a judging one, but just an interested one.

Her expressions soon faltered, however, especially at the last sentence that made her pause and stare at him for a moment before focusing on her food again. "It isn't that simple." Ruby said. "Some paths someone choose simply will take more risk..." The grip on her spoon tightened for a moment. "... Some... Are outright death traps, but they still choose anyway. Knowing it is." She felt a lump in her throat, that she fought back with another bite of a bread.

"It isn't your fault." She said, almost absent-minded and instinctively. It almost felt like aimless words. Maybe it was to Erick, maybe it was to someone else.

@Erick Styker

 

[Erick Stryker]

"Liked is a strong word," he shot her a quick wink, "but the company wasn't bad, and I definitely felt like I was making at least some contribution." When one talked about flirting with death, only the absolutely insane would ever truly derive enjoyment from that kind of risk. He may have found it 'exhilarating' or 'intense,' but the suggestion that he liked it... "or have I wrongly portrayed myself as some kind of masochist?"

When she seemed to back down a bit and hesitation took hold, he noticed it immediately. It isn't that simple, she told him. Erick sat forward a bit and listened closely, not even looking up when the new mug of mead slid across the table to him. "Thanks," he said offhand to the barmaid while still intently watching and listening to Ruby.

Someone died, he reasoned. Someone real close to her died, and there was nothing she could do. She's feeling powerless.

Growing up on a farm, death was an inevitable part of life. The animals had finite lifespans, many times shorter than those of humans. They bonded with dogs, cats, horses, cows- all kinds of creatures who they would inevitably outlive. One death never made the next easier. And when it wasn't the animals, it was family, or the neighbors, or friends.

The chill came back at that thought. Erick inhaled slowly and deeply, and when he exhaled, his breath shook involuntarily as it left him. He had seen his fair share, and even lost people very close to him. He knew what that looked like. He knew what it sounded like. Grief was different for everyone, but in some ways, it was always the same.

When she said it wasn't his fault, and he hadn't done anything, he instinctively understood. Those words weren't meant for him. He reached out and placed his fingers gently on the back of her hand and his smile became much softer and more gentle.

"No," he reassured her. "No, it's not."

@Crimson Ruby

 

[Crimson Ruby]

"You as a masochist would be a sight I don't want to witness," Ruby said, huffing at the idea and casting a brief glance at the man, rubbing her neck when he winked and spoke of enjoying the company.

Her eyes averted to the barmaid, and she tried to sink the food into her mouth after her words, but Erick's gesture made her pause, eyes locking on her hand and on his, trailing up to his face and eyes. The smile on his lips showed that he very much knew something was wrong.

His words, his reassurance, it all tingled.

Ruby's eyes watered for a moment, almost as an immediate reaction to his words and to everything they meant. She swallowed, giving in for a moment and allowing some of the tears to flow, but not before averting her face and reaching for her eyes with her free hand, trying to wipe them away almost as soon as they came out, to almost no avail.

"I... I am so pathetic, Erick..." She muttered, facing the wall for a moment, not wanting anyone else to see her face. Just one person was already more than enough.

@Erick Styker

 

[Erick Stryker]

He laughed softly again, then stopped when she hid her face and her eyes started to tear up. There was a time and place appropriate for making jokes, and this crossed the threshold about the time when she called herself pathetic. Intrusive thought, he noted, recalling that stress could induce sudden and often unwanted things to poke through the holes in even the most stoic of people. Erick frowned and glanced around for a moment, keeping his voice low so as to not attract more attention.

"You're not pathetic," he crooned in a soft, reassuring voice as he reached up with a hand to stroke her hair. His mother used to do that when he was young, back when he started to cry. He made no effort to turn her face back toward him, instead deigning to continue with the conversation as though nothing was wrong.

"I don't know what happened, and I won't ask. When you're ready to open up about it, you will do that in your own time; but for now, you need to be more positive about yourself. Don't get dragged down into the darkness where no one can reach you. I'm here. You can ask me for help if you need it."

He reached over for his napkin and then offered it to Ruby. Then, he went back to drinking and took time to look around, both to give her the chance to wipe her tears away without embarrassment, and to give those around them the illusion of normalcy. Most people overreacted to emotional outbursts. That often exacerbated the situation, and usually made the crying person feel infinitely worse.

"The mead's real good here," he commented offhand, changing the subject so that his voice could be heard. "I can get you a mug, if you like?"

@Crimson Ruby

 

[Crimson Ruby]

His words made her left ear twitch, and her teeth clench to suppress the urge to retort immediately, to reject it. But before she could speak, the touch on her hair halted her, making her freeze. Albeit she didn't turn her face, her eyes turned to vaguely look at him as she released her breath through her teeth.

She understood what he meant, and while part of her agreed with it, another part simply... Couldn't stop but push her back to her mistakes, to every step done wrong, to every slip and decision.

Her face turned slightly toward him when the napkin was offered, swallowing before taking it to quickly start cleaning the mess her face was becoming. Especially when his promise sounded so similar to her own, a promise of helping one whenever they needed. Certainly, he would be much more capable than her at it, or at least that was what her mind decided to use to haunt Ruby.

"... Y-Yes..." Ruby said with a nod, finishing to wipe the last remains of her tears, even if her eyes were still watery. They shifted to glance at Erick's, "Thank you..." She said, far more grateful for his previous gesture than the offer for the mead. Something that was clear judging her expressions, that still faltered while she tried to fully recompose herself.

Perhaps a drink would work for it.

"... Maybe... Maybe more than a mug." She nodded, finally looking at Erick again. "... Sorry about this."

@Erick Styker

 

[Erick Stryker]

"No problem," Erick replied offhand as he glanced sidelong to make sure there were no unwanted eyes on them. Satisfied that she wasn't being stared at, he raised two fingers into the air to signify that two more mugs of mead should find their way to the table. "If there's anything Midwestern kids know, its wasting all their time drinking," he teased. "There's literally nothing else to do, unless its Football season."

He smiled when the barmaid put the drinks down on the table next to him. "Better slow down," the blonde girl smirked, "you're gonna wear me out at this rate."

"Cardio," Erick matched her smirk with one of his own, and she laughed out loud. There were many ways a conversation like that could go, but flirting with someone right in front of a suffering friend was low on the list of things Erick wanted to do. "Seriously though, I appreciate it," he said as he pulled a silver piece from his inventory and slid it her way. "See if the bartender won't let you slip one behind the counter on your break."

"Aren't you sweet?" she smiled as she pocketed the coin, and Erick turned his gaze back toward Ruby.

"Don't worry," he offered her a conspiratorial wink. "I just got us on the fast track to as many mugs as you need."

@Crimson Ruby

 

[Crimson Ruby]

Ruby's lips vaguely quirked up at the joke, but they soon pursed as she shrugged slightly. "I... Don't usually drink too much... But maybe today is calling for it." She said.

When the barmaid came, Ruby twitched her ears at their interaction, her eyes shifting from the barmaid to Erick before leaning away. The small exchange and jokes were at least enough for her voice to not crack anymore. "You waste no time." She said when he winked at her and mentioned they were in the fast track for drinks, swaying the tail when the barmaid walked away.

With a bit more of calm, Ruby stayed quiet for a few seconds that felt like an eternity in her mind, with all the memories rushing in while she stared at the mug.

After all that show of how pathetic she was, there was a lot of explanation she owed to him.

"Have I ever showed you my blade, Erick?" Ruby asked, mostly absent minded.

@Erick Styker

 

[Erick Stryker]

"Time and tide wait for no man," Erick smiled in response to her observation about his diligence with regard to drinks. He took a sip of his own for good measure, let out a refreshed breath, and placed the mug on the table. He watched her fidget with her own drink, aware that she had yet to imbibe any of it.

Something had truly shaken her. Little by little, he watched as she shook it off, but something still clearly haunted the woman. "Your blade?" he asked, curious.

It was a sudden and somewhat strange shift in the flow of conversation, but not unwelcome. If she thought it was a relevant matter, he was not going to question her. "No, I don't think you have- at least, not outside of a fight."

He did recall that her weapon was more traditionally Chinese, which made sense given what she'd told him before about her nationality, but that was all he really remembered at a glance. Erick waited for her to elaborate, because somehow he felt like things would start to come together.

@Crimson Ruby

 

[Crimson Ruby]

Ruby nodded, slowly drawing her blade from the sheath concealed by her long cloak. The gesture made a few drinkers wary, but as soon as she held it in a non-combative manner, most of the guests relaxed. She looked up at Erick, gently offering the sword to him. Her sword was a beautiful jian, almost ceremonial in a way but clearly as sharp and dangerous as a weapon should be.

The blade was dark like a night sky, save for the shimmering dots that reflected on the blade as if it was a mirror to a starry night. Between those stars reflected, some shined the brightest.

"Those bright stars..." Ruby said. "... They are allies and friends I saw dying." Upon looking enough at a bright star, the name and the face of who the star belonged would appear to the beholder.

"I always had it with me. And my spirit magic always manipulated this sword... But it is the first time I noticed this is what this blade does." She admitted. "... There has the girl with the brightest smile I've ever seen in the League, dead without any chance of saving her," Ruby muttered. "The very first friend I made in this world, that I failed to protect." She held her mug. "The one friend that sacrificed herself for us all, but that I have the feeling perhaps it could have been avoided..." The grip on the mug tightened. "A friend that rescued me, and stayed behind with the one that sacrificed herself... Keeping her company until the very last moments..." She held a breath. "This other... I didn't know well. But someone that stays with another in the direst moment can't be a bad person."

Ruby frowned.

"Even complete strangers had more courage to stay next to Shane than me, who only sent a stupid illusion." She growled quietly, chugging the mug's contents, resting it back on the table with an exasperated sigh.

"The others... Are... Probably mostly okay, aside from the consequences of dying and respawing in this game... But Shane? It is clear to me now." Her ears dropped. "She will never open her eyes again."

@Erick Styker

 

[Erick Stryker]

He smiled faintly when she described the meaning in the stars across the surface of her blade. He chose his masteries based on a love of the unknown and new horizons beyond the stars. There was a slimmer of beauty even in the morose truth that followed. It was a sad smile, the kind one might wear when reflecting on the life of a loved one fondly. Erick appreciated the sentiment- the brightest lights in their lives were the ones that inevitably became their guiding stars, even long after their light had faded.

The blue-haired man couldn't bring himself to frown. These were Ruby's feelings laid bare. The things that the woman felt the need to say, to unload and not be judged for. The words she used were harsh, filled with discontent- it was evident that Ruby was standing in the middle of a minefield and taking every step with the intention of setting off an explosion. The holes left in her soul were even more visible now that he had seen the truth hiding behind her uneasy gaze.

Erick laced his fingers and closed his eyes, resting his forehead against his hands.

Death was an inevitable part of life, and in a world like this, more often than not people took risks knowing full well that there was a possibility they might not walk away. He had yet to experience that. However, there were members of his family who had served in war, and given the call to duty, they had answered. One in particular had gone beyond.

He recalled that story now, and how many had elected to stay behind despite the risks and costs. "It takes those people who are willing to make the sacrifice play, sometimes," he whispered, "someone to stay behind and confirm that everything was followed through. We call them heroes in the States. People who gave all so we could live free."

The youth glanced at the beautiful young lady who was so clearly filled with hate toward herself for something far beyond her control, and he reached for his drink without breaking eye contact. "Everyone has choices to make. Some have the fortitude to make choices others don't. But it doesn't mean that one or the other was weaker, or a failure. There are tasks ahead of you that no one else will be able to complete," he said, biting his tongue when he realized he was echoing the same words his father had once told him.

Ruby was a friend, though. She deserved those words, probably more than he had. Or maybe, those words had been given to him expressly so that he could give them to this girl, in this moment.

He felt a quiet warmth rise up in his chest at that thought.

"Think of this," he began, "the miracle of life begins when one of millions of sperm cells makes its way to an egg. Think of all those cells that failed to get there, to do the one thing they existed to do. In much the same way, each of those cells performed the only task they were ever meant to execute. The journey was everything. Did they fail? Or did they do everything they could?"

He blushed a bit at that example, but continued to speak. Perhaps, he thought, I should slow down on the ale. "Life is just like that," he continued. "We go from being that one-in-a-million to being one among millions. Every time we breathe, we're doing more than those hundreds of millions of cells that never became humans. And they weren't failures."

Erick reached out and placed a hand on hers again, this time squeezing it slightly to reassure her.

"Your friends will always be the brightest stars in your sky," he lowered his voice, "and their memories will always light your way forward," he continued, "but never forget, if they're stars to you, you're a star to someone, too."

@Crimson Ruby

 

[Crimson Ruby]

Ruby's eyes went up, looking at Erick's gestures, knowing he was thinking deeply. Perhaps she spoke too much, but at that point it was too late to turn back.

She averted her eyes, only to return them again when Erick started speaking again. Sacrifices being spoken in such a highly manner never really felt well for Ruby, which was hypocrital of her part in a lot of ways. But Erick offered another perspective on it, one not focused on the loss.

Things that one or another couldn't do did exist. The way they met and how they went through Vintergard together was a proof of it. But to burden the choice of sacrifice...

She shook her head.

That wasn't the point Erick was trying to make. What he was trying to mean was-

"Sperm cells"

"... Huh-" Ruby's left ear twitched, unsure if she had heard it right.

"... Cells" Her ear twitched again, no, that wasn't a mishear. "Every time we breathe, we're doing more than those hundreds of millions of cells"

Ruby's face went red staring at Erick, grabbing her ale mug and turning it on her lips in a way it almost looked like a chug. Truth was that she was barely sipping it, using that oversized mug to hide her burning face.

However, soon she felt the touch of his hand, along with a speech that went on a bit less embarrassing.

The mug lowered, with her eyes peeking from above it before she lowered the mug entirely and placed it on the table. "Th-They truly are." Ruby said. "Things have been much brighter after I met them... after I met you..." She paused for a moment. "So to not be able to do the same for them, it is unnacceptable." Ruby pursed her lips.

"And to lose any of them... Even if it is a sacrifice... I shouldn't allow it."

@Erick Styker

 

[Erick Stryker]

To her credit, Ruby handled that situation far better than Erick would when he began to reflect on what he'd said. Sperm Cells? What the fu--

No, not the right time. You can be embarrassed later.

At the very least, his lapse in judgment had taken her out of the very dark place in her mind, even momentarily. The fact that they were both blushing now was proof enough of that. She grounded herself quickly enough, and matched his gaze while turning the conversation back to something more level-headed, albeit still fraught with self-depreciation.

"I wonder," he spoke softly as she finished her thought.

"Loss is a horrible thing. A tragedy, but also, a natural part of life," he told her. "Not wanting to experience loss is a very human thing. You want to protect yourself from pain. But loss is inevitable. Even if we find a way to prolong life, it eventually ends. You can't disallow death."

He paused. "But you probably meant... not allow them to make those sacrifices?" he asked in a much softer, more somber voice. "Yeah... there's probably times when I wish I could control the outcomes of situations, or the decisions that people ultimately make. I get that."

Erick finally withdrew his hand and raised it to call for another drink. He would need it. "But y'know... we don't always get to make those calls, right?"

@Crimson Ruby