☀˚̣⋅ .
The following days after the big Red Fever event were... Well, they were something. Reviving at the church and the subsequently making her way back at word of her comrades success didn't really feel like a victory for her, in fact in a way, it felt like Sol had lost. A heavy cloud hung over her head as she found herself sitting quietly in a wagon, alone, unlike the liveliness that had followed her about over the past couple days while sitting amongst others. A liveliness that wasn't for her, one that she seemingly didn't deserve.
And what about those she cared for? How could she disappoint them? How could she be so
weak?
Thankfully, those thoughts seemed to lessen as time went on, however her memories didn't. It would happen every now and then, but the minutes leading up to her death would flash through her brain. A bright light. Her last words. Blue and pink eyes looking back into hers as she faded away into nothing. She'd close her eyes tight. Blink. Reset. And then open them back up, hoping that that would will the thoughts away. However, it didn't, and it was near impossible to will away when her own prize stared at her in the face whenever she looked to her left side: Her upper arm, starting from her shoulder and all the way to above her elbow, turned black as deep as her sword, hard to the touch as if she was made of metal. A spot on her body, as if to act as a reminder to herself of what had happened, never to let her go.
She herself spent less time in the game than usual but it was more to give herself space to recover, clocking in to do a couple things and maybe staying a little more to complete a quest if she felt like it, but otherwise keeping to herself. She barely reached out to anyone and the reason for that was unclear: Was it due to general introvert exhaustion and needing time to herself, or the fear of facing those who had watched her fall while trying to protect them? Either way, it was on this very day that she found herself entering the Explorer's Hall, tucking her newly upgraded red whistle into her pocket. She felt unsure if she was even deserving of the rank up in the first place, but was more than happy to accept an upgrade.
Casting her eyes upwards from where her gaze sat turned downward just a moment before, she spotted the Lepus first, biting the inside her cheek as she offered her a weak smile incase she had noticed her too. It was then that her eyes moved to the figure she had been speaking to and Sol hesitated in her steps, pausing as she turned her eyes away from Toko and onto anywhere else but the pair.
She would be lying if she didn't check her friend list every now and then when she logged in, only to be met with... Nothing. She'd never accepted Frey's friend request in the first place, giving them no reason except for coincidence to speak to each other. This was a fact that before the expedition gave her solace, and now one that made her frown whenever she closed the tab on her UI. Someone who she had tried so hard to mean nothing to her now being a person she looked for, trying to find a conclusion to what was unspoken, a conversation promised... But the conditions unfulfilled. Would he even want to speak to her anymore, given she had died right in front of him?
Her heart thumped anxiously in her chest as she tried to slow the quickening speed, thumb rubbing over her black shoulder for a moment as every voice in her brain yelled at her to turn and walk, run if she could, but with a quick inhale and a turn on her heels, she made her way over to the two, walking up from behind Frey's back as she looked at Toko,
"Hi Toko... Glad to see you're okay." A small, awkward smile that was almost meek crossed her lips as she looked at her, before finally turning her gaze to look at Frey,
"And Frey... Hi."
Flicking her eyes away from him again as her lips pursed together for a second, she glanced between the two, unsure of how to move on but pushing herself forward as she opened her mouth once more,
"Sorry to interrupt, it's just- It's nice to see you guys." Truths spilled from her mouth as she stopped trying to hold them back.
She would not run again.