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"How is there nothing wrong? The way you talk about my onion, it's like you don't have onions in Mexi--where was it? Portuh Rica? Do I need to mail you some, just to illustrate my point? That this onion has been damaged to the point of changing its flavor profile before I can use it." The magia...

"Yes, I can taste, like I've been saying the whole damn time. AND as I established already, I can't eat the onion today, because it is Lemon Day." The ludicrous man says as he takes another big bite, peel and flesh, of the lemon. This time however, it seems he is able to contain his pain...

"FUCKIN' BUCKET KNUCKLES!" An alien, and likely meaningless utterance spilled from the now recovered magia's lips; clearly he had mostly recovered. "Why was that so sour!? God Damn! Like lemonade with negative sugar dehydrated into a damn powder! FUCK!" The magia tries to spit on the ground...

"Yes I hear myself speak, how about you? Do you not hear yourself putting words in my mouth? When did I ever say I couldn't taste? I said this body couldn't, a very big semantic difference there! I can taste perfectly fine, this body cannot." While the ridiculous man has been arguing a likely...

Narrowly avoiding the thieving hands of this deranged woman, the farmer steps backwards and tucks his onion into his NBMRS&OAFGB (see post #5). Maybe it would be safe from further harm by this bandit there. "And now we move to theft? You'd deprive a man of the fruits of his labor?" The man, as...

"I am a farmer! I know the flavor of my produce, how dare you imply I wouldn't. You, ma'am, have been very rude. Not only have you damaged my crop, but you have also refused to take responsibility for your actions." The magia huffs with pure, unadulterated, annoyance. never in his life had he...

"I mean, it doesn't have to be a specific day, but getting into routine is good for habit forming. You wouldn't just not brush your teeth, would you? you wouldn't just not eat your daily eight apples, would you? As a magia, I'm not going to just not eat my biweekly bucket of lemons. If you had...

"And what the fuck is Lemon Day? What the fuck is Lemon Day!? How do you think I'm supposed to clean the internals of this mechanical body? If I don't clean this body, I could grow all sorts of disgusting molds or bacterial colonies. It's like brushing your teeth, except I have to rinse my...

The construct pauses, looking dumbfounded at the woman. "Eat it today? Eat it today!? Today is Lemon Day. How should you expect me to eat an onion on lemon day? I wasn't going to partake of this--previously--fine produce for another two days." What this magia was going off about could be...

The man, jumps down from the tree, using a bush to cushion his fall. "A knife? For one, a knife and an arrow head are very different, and, secondly, you shouldn't just use any random knife to prepare your vegetabes. Finally, by breaking past its outer leaf, you've reduced the shelf-life by a...

"Barely in there? Barely in there!? That is a solid half a thumb gouged into my once perfectly good produce! Do you even understand how many scales you've damaged?" the man was irate. His onion had been struck, and now this Mexican Elf Puerto Rican was insistent that she was not at fault. That...

"Oh shit! A Mexican!" the man blurted out, fear in his voice. His tone carried the understanding of one who had once interacted with many a Mexican. He was of course wrong, for that was no Mexican; that was an elf, of which Mexicans are not. It also didn't help that it was a Puerto Rican, which...

What a shame indeed, for the very arrow of which she was seeking was hidden but a mere tree above her head. Surely her shame at losing her arrow, by striking another man's onion, would never be lived down. but most importantly, she would most definitely never find the arrow. How could she? The...

Where indeed had that arrow gone? Certainly it wouldn't have accidentally struck anything dangerous, that would just be absolutely rotten luck. No, the arrow had found itself ever so barely stuck into a rather fresh onion. Luckily nobody was hurt, but now this onion would have to be eaten...

In the forest of Eastern Brisshal, not too terribly far from the village of Honeyhome, a man is stalking around in the bushes. He wears upon him a sash, laden with fresh produce. He carries with him a large bouquet of flowers, the arrangement contains a large variety of rather uncommon...

Active An Epic Beeventure - Private [Luthien, and maybe more] Completed None Hiatus None Planned None

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Skills

Jefferbee's mighty beast arts grant him a power of communion with bees (and other less important animals). However, his true strength is only manifest by the interweaving of his nature magic, magictech, and knowledge of farming... his powerful skill, OPERATE TRACKTOR (with a 'k'). Not only can...